The One-Size-Fits-All Funeral Is No More

You’re going to die. It’s inevitable. But having a stodgy, hideously expensive funeral like your grandparents did is not inevitable. You can do your send-off your way, and that’s just what boomers, Gen X-ers and even millennials are doing. They’re skipping traditional funerals and going for alternatives that are more affordable, earth-friendly and in keeping with their values. More people are cremated now than buried, and putting bodies into the ground minus the toxic embalming chemicals and steel casket is the up-and-coming trend. The days when people bought one-size-fits-all packages from a funeral home are ending, too. They’re buying funerals a la carte, combining goods and services to get what they want. Here are the basic options for a funeral.

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The body

Embalming: You know the drill on this one. A corpse is drained of body fluids and pumped full of formaldehyde to slow decay so it can be displayed in a casket prior to burial.

Cremation: An embalmed corpse is incinerated after an open-casket service. The ashes are returned to the family for scattering or keeping, buried in a graveyard, or put into a columbarium (a room in a cemetery or church with compartments for urns of ashes).

Direct cremation: The corpse goes from place of death to a cremator. There is no embalming. Ashes are returned to the family.

Au naturel: The corpse is neither embalmed nor cremated. It is cleaned, washed, dressed and refrigerated. This is usually paired with an immediate or green burial. (See below.)

The ceremony

Viewing/Visitation/Wake: The traditional gathering of mourners with the dead person present in some form: as an embalmed corpse in a casket; an urn of ashes next to a photo of the deceased; or — if the family has opted for a green burial — an unembalmed body in a casket packed in dry ice. It’s unstructured, with people dropping in to pay respects to the family of the dead person. It’s usually held within a couple of days of a death.  A wake is rooted in Catholic tradition and may include a rosary service.

Funeral service: The traditional, formal service at which the body is present, in a casket. An official of some sort presides over the funeral, and it’s structured and scripted. It’s usually held at a church or funeral chapel within a week of death.