Why Introverts Need Social Connection: 7 Simple Tips

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Anna Medaris

Published January 13, 2026

When the COVID-19 pandemic forced New Yorkers to isolate, Yu — an 89-year-old Chinese immigrant in Manhattan — went on reading, writing and learning about history from the comfort of his apartment as usual. It was Yu’s wife, the extroverted one, who sunk into a depression. Her physical health declined too.

So in 2023, Yu signed up his wife for Life Story Club, an organization that encourages older adults to build a support network through storytelling prompts and other programming. He tagged along. Now Yu is the one who has returned to the weekly Zoom meetups for 74 weeks and counting.

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“He was looking for a space for his very extroverted wife to engage and then found a home himself as a self-proclaimed introvert,” says Jennifer Wong, an experimental psychologist and the interim executive director of Life Story Club. “How beautiful is that?”

Yu’s experience is reflective of research showing that no matter where you fall on the introversion-to-extroversion spectrum, fulfilling relationships are vital to mental and physical well-being. One frequently referenced meta-analysis that included more than 308,000 people found that those with stronger relationships were 50 percent more likely to survive over the study periods than those with weaker connections. The mortality risk of being socially disconnected is akin to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, according to a report from the Surgeon General’s office.

Another study out of Harvard that’s been following a group of men for more than 80 years found that relationship quality was an even bigger predictor of longevity than factors like socioeconomic status or cholesterol levels. “It’s bad for humans to be isolated because the body and the brain process isolation as a form of stress,” says Ben Rein, a neuroscientist and author of Why Brains Need Friends: The Neuroscience of Social Connection.

Strong connections are especially important for people 65-plus of all personality types, with some research showing that social engagement and activities consistently improve the cognitive health of people at risk for Alzheimer’s disease and related dementias. Indeed, since participating in Life Story Club, Yu says through a translator, “I feel like my brain is getting more active.”

But introverts may benefit from social connections in particular ways. One 2023 study in Health Psychology Open looked at how various measures of social connection affect people's happiness, and whether their level of extroversion affects the answer. Surprisingly, they found that while social support, a lack of loneliness and feeling socially connected were important for everyone’s happiness, introverts’ happiness seemed to be particularly dependent on those factors.

Despite common assumptions, the study authors conclude, introverts may be particularly vulnerable to loneliness and sensitive to a loss of social connection. Other work has shown that the more socially connected introverts are, the higher their self-esteem. “The research indicates that, counterintuitively, introverts do enjoy socializing, just at much smaller doses,” Rein says.

So how can introverts reap the rewards of social connection while staying true to their nature? Here are seven ways experts recommend introverts develop more social connections:

1. Expect discomfort at first

The longer you remain holed up, the scarier getting out in the world will feel. That’s because your brain changes in response to isolation — seeing other people as more threatening than they really are. It all goes back to evolution, Rein says. “If you’re booted out from your tribe or you're lost, when you come across anybody, you should be very wary,” he says. “Nowadays we don't need that signal in our brains, but we're stuck with the same hardware.”

The lessons: You can’t entirely trust your instinct to avoid other people, and being social after a period of relative solitude will feel uncomfortable. But it will get easier too.

2. Be ready to be surprised

Similarly, although striking up a conversation with a colleague or even a stranger may feel unnatural, most introverts are pleasantly surprised by how mood-boosting such interactions can be. For instance, in one study that asked people to socialize as if they were at a cocktail party for 20 minutes, introverts had lower expectations about how they would feel afterward. Still, they largely reported feeling better afterward.

“People tend to underestimate the value of an interaction — they basically don’t think it's going to make any difference. It does make a difference,” Rein says. Plus, he adds, “people think others like them less than they really do.” Psychologists call it “the liking gap.”

3. Consider your values

When Yu was living in China, his kids motivated him to forge local social connections. “I really wanted to offer a better future for my children,” he says through the translator.

But after he moved to the United States in 1999, Yu’s personal mission continued to change. First it was to learn his new culture, so he worked as a caregiver. Now it’s to better understand others’ inner worlds and past experiences, so he joined Life Story Club. “It’s very important to have an intention and a plan and action,” he says.

The lesson: Introverts often need to tap into their values to motivate themselves into a social setting, Babita Spinelli, a psychotherapist and coach in New York and New Jersey, finds.

Maybe you value staying ahead at work and commit to one social company event a month or quarter. Maybe you value nature and sign up for a local gardening club. Maybe you value supporting younger generations and volunteer to tutor. “Let's first define what meaningful connections mean for you, and then … let's look at those values and ask: Where might we find an alignment?” Spinelli says.

4. Journal to develop your ideal “social diet”

If you eat or drink something that doesn’t sit well, you’ll likely avoid it in the future. But “in our social lives, we don't craft our diet the same way,” Rein says.

He recommends journaling about your social experiences — what drained you and what left you feeling good — to recognize that it’s not all socialization you dislike but, rather, group dinners or loud concerts. Taking a walk with a friend or even simply reading in a neighborhood café might be just the kind of interaction you crave. Time of day, total weekly time socializing and how deep (or shallow) the connection can make a difference too. “What’s important is teaching [introverts] how to be aware of their energy and how to recharge,” Spinelli says.

5. Lower the bar

You don’t need to sing karaoke or host a blowout party to foster community. Yu commits to just one social activity a week. Even so-called micro-interactions like chitchatting with a stranger on the bus or exchanging a few words with your barista have been shown to boost mood and feelings of connection.

6. Consider therapy

In some cases, what’s actually social anxiety can be miscast as introversion. But the former is a clinical diagnosis, not just a personality trait, and can be worked through with professional help, Spinelli says. “When someone has a social anxiety disorder, it's a much more intense experience. They try sometimes to avoid social situations out of fear,” she says. “So they feel shame, they feel panic, whereas an introvert will socialize but just feel tired.”

Even introverts without social anxiety can sharpen their social tool kit through therapy, especially if their resistance to social engagement is rooted in losses, grief or an isolating upbringing. “There’s some things that might need to heal when they’ve had past disappointments around connection,” Spinelli says.

7. Lean on the extroverts in your life

Life Story Club partners with case managers, health care providers, community health centers, senior centers and other people and places to help funnel adults at risk for loneliness and isolation into its programming. “There are always super-joiners, and there are always people who kind of need to be talked into it,” Wong says.

So if you’re more of a super-joiner or an extrovert, take the initiative to invite a more reclusive friend to a movie, or bring holiday cookies to a homebody neighbor. “We all suffer when people are socially isolated and lonely — folks are more likely to seek out health care, are found more [often] in the emergency room. It is a cost to all of us,” Wong says. “So if we can just … see people better in our communities and connect with them, even if it’s on a subway or at a bus stop or at a diner or at a coffee shop or shared space, I think we're all better off.”

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