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How I Escaped the Health Care Maze by Going to the Top
Out-of-date provider lists, confusing 1-800 numbers, frustrating AI chatbots. Here are tips for navigating the system to reach someone with the power to help
Monica Garwood
Welcome to Ethels Tell All, where the writers behind The Ethel newsletter share their personal stories related to the joys and challenges of aging. Come back Wednesday each week for the latest piece, exclusively on AARP Members Edition.
When I changed health insurance plans in my mid-60s, I assumed the hardest part would be choosing the plan.
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I was wrong.
The hardest part was finding a doctor who actually took it.
I would go to an insurance company’s website, search the provider list, write down names and start calling. Some numbers were wrong. Some doctors had moved. Some practices had been absorbed into large corporate medical groups. And when I finally reached a human being, I kept hearing the same thing: “Oh no, we stopped taking that insurance years ago.”
Years ago?
I was healthy enough to sit there, make the calls, take notes and keep trying. But I couldn’t stop thinking: What if I hadn’t been? What if I had been seriously ill, older, alone, in pain or in need of a specialist quickly?
The time I spent was enormous, and it wasn’t just inconvenient. It was exhausting, anxiety-producing and deeply frustrating.
At a certain point, I realized I had a choice. I could keep getting angrier at the 1-800 number, or I could try to reach someone who actually had the power to help.
So I went to the top.
When I hit a wall with a large company, I don’t keep repeating the same failed steps. I do my homework. It takes dedication, time, sleuthing skills and luck, but I find out who is in charge. Sometimes that means the CEO. Sometimes it means the head of a particular department. But I look for the person, or the office, with the authority to get something done.
Then I write.
I don’t rant, and I don’t lead with threats. I write a clear, specific, urgent email that explains exactly what happened, what I’ve already tried, why it matters and what I need.
In this case, I explained that I had spent hours trying to find doctors who took my plan, only to discover the company’s own provider list was inaccurate. This wasn’t a customer-service inconvenience, I wrote. It was a barrier to medical care.
I also documented everything. Whenever I make an important call, I note the date, the time, the name of the person I spoke with and what I was told. If I’m transferred or promised a callback, I write that down, too.
Many companies record their calls, but I don’t rely on them to keep the record for me. I keep my own.
Those notes make for a stronger email, and they keep you calm. You’re not just saying, “This was terrible.” You’re saying: Here is what happened, when it happened and with whom.
After I sent the email, someone from the executive team actually contacted me, and I was eventually assigned a representative who could help me directly. That changed everything. Instead of starting over with the 1-800 number every time, I had a person I could email. With that direct contact, I could get help locating current in-network providers, resolve authorization issues and avoid the endless loop of explaining my entire history to a stranger on the phone.
It made me realize something I wish more people believed: Big companies are not as untouchable as they seem.
The phone trees can make you feel trapped in a maze designed to wear you down. And so many of us, older adults especially, eventually start to think the problem is us.
It is not always us.
Sometimes the list really is outdated. Sometimes the system really is broken. Sometimes the person on the phone really cannot help you. And sometimes the only way forward is to go around the maze and find a door at the top.
There’s an old saying: The pen is mightier than the sword. Today, I’d update it. The email may be mightier than the 1-800 number.
Here is how to write your own, send it to the right person, and keep going until you reach someone who can help.
How to take your problem to the top, step by step
1. Do your homework. Find the person or office with real authority. Often that is the CEO, but sometimes it is a department head, an executive customer relations office or a patient advocacy department. Search the company website, leadership page, LinkedIn, press releases and Google. If you can’t find a direct email, look for the company’s email pattern. It may be first name dot last name, first initial plus last name or another simple format. Try a few variations. The goal is to reach someone who can actually move the problem forward.
2. Document everything. Note the date, time, who you spoke with, what they said, and every transfer or promised callback. Keep your own record. Don’t count on theirs.
3. Be specific, not emotional. Instead of writing, “Your company is the worst,” write, “On May 3, two providers on your list no longer took my plan, and one number was disconnected.”
4. Spell out the human stakes. Explain why the problem matters. For example: “I need care, and this outdated information is preventing me from getting it.”
5. Make one clear ask. Don’t bury the request. Say exactly what you need: “Please assign me a representative who can help me find an in-network provider currently accepting patients.”
6. Follow up. Silence is not always no. Sometimes it means your email did not reach the right person. Write again. Try another contact. There’s truth to the old saying that the squeaky wheel gets the grease, but in health care, it helps to be a documented, specific, persistent squeaky wheel.
AARP essays share a point of view in the author’s voice, drawn from expertise or experience, and do not necessarily reflect the views of AARP.
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