AARP Hearing Center
LGBTQ+ Older Adults Get a Prom Redo
Members of the LGBTQ+ community mark the high school rite of passage out and proud
Pride Dance Gives Older Adults a Prom Redo
AARP Studios
Key takeaways
- A Virginia library hosted a Pride Senior Prom for adults who didn’t have affirming prom experiences as teens.
- Guests described the prom as a safe space to connect, heal and celebrate openly.
- Attendees said the prom fostered community among LGBTQ+ older adults.
A DJ booth pulsed with colorful flashing lights, while tables draped with rainbow tablecloths ringed a large dance floor with tiny lights overhead. Couples and individuals wearing suits, dresses and the occasional hat danced to a mix of contemporary tracks and classic anthems like Diana Ross’ “I’m Coming Out.” Chatter and laughter filled the busy auditorium, buzzing with tentative excitement. Guests mingled and huddled around tables, some seated, others standing, talking among themselves and enjoying small bites and wine.
More Ways to Benefit
- Related Benefit 1
- Related Benefit 2
- Related Benefit 3
- Related Benefit 4
- Related Benefit 5
This wasn’t your typical high school prom: Pride Senior Prom, held at the Arlington Central Public Library in Virginia on June 12, was for LGBTQ+ older adults who didn’t go to prom when they were younger or attend as their true selves with the date of their choice.
This prom was a way to combat the social isolation felt by nearly half of LGBTQ+ older adults, according to AARP research. Meanwhile, the findings from “Dignity 2024: The Experience of LGBTQ+ Older Adults” also show that half of LGBTQ+ adults live with a partner.
Though it was promoted for older adults, the 21-plus event drew LGBTQ+ community members and allies of all ages who gathered to dance, socialize and pose for pictures at a photo booth with colorful props.
Attendees made their way to the dance floor during Pride Senior Prom on June 12, 2026.
AARP
Come as you are
In a bright purple bowtie and a suit he doesn’t get to wear often, this prom was the first 69-year-old James Fisher had ever attended.
As a closeted gay teenager in Grafton, West Virginia, in the 1970s, Fisher didn’t feel welcome at the traditional rite of passage event during high school.
“I would have given anything to have felt included — to have felt, if I took a boy to prom, the same sort of nervousness, the same sort of fun, the same sort of silliness.… That would have been amazing and wonderful,” says Fisher. “But it was unthinkable at the time.”
Fisher finally reached the milestone with his husband, Ron Bookbinder, at the library’s first Pride Senior Prom. Bookbinder, 64, also didn’t have what he would call an ideal prom as a teen. He brought a platonic female friend to the dance in Roslyn Heights, New York.
“I wish I could have brought someone I was really romantically interested in, if there had been anyone like that. I think it would’ve been much more affirming, would’ve felt much more special,” says Bookbinder. “I’m so excited about tonight because it’s a redo. It’s a chance to go with my husband … and to have a really romantic evening.”
The couple, who have been together for 38 years, joined a few dozen others in the library’s auditorium, which was transformed into a classic high school dance scene.
“Holding events in Pride Month for the library signals to everyone that we are open for anyone in the community to come as they are,” says Diane Kresh, 72, director of Arlington Public Library, who came out when she was in her 50s. “Older queer adults need community because for many years, they didn’t have community, or they had a very isolated community, or they felt isolated,” she says.
Growing up, neither Fisher nor Bookbinder felt comfortable coming out publicly.
Bookbinder knew he was gay in his early teens and later came out to his parents and a handful of trusted friends. Finally, in college, he joined an LGBTQ+ student group. “We marched, and we protested, and we socialized and had fun. Then I knew I was part of it, the community,” he says.
Fisher described feeling frightened by the AIDS crisis in the 1980s. Bookbinder recalls that The Washington Blade, the oldest LGBTQ+ newspaper in the U.S., went from having one or two obituaries per week back then to filling whole pages with death notices.
Despite being certain he was gay in his early 20s, Fisher didn’t come out until he was 31. It wasn’t until Fisher sneaked into a theater to watch the film Maurice that he had the courage to come out, he says, and when he did, he did it wholeheartedly: He became a gay activist and met Bookbinder a few months later. He says coming out brought color to his life and it has been that way ever since. “Your life can go from black-and-white to Technicolor,” he says. “It can happen.”
However, even today, the couple says they rarely hold hands in public because of societal stigmas from when they were growing up. But at the Pride prom, Bookbinder says, they felt safe and comfortable to hold hands and dance.
Strength in numbers
Finding community empowered 64-year-old Victoria Dale to come out as a lesbian when she was a recent college graduate. She attended the Pride Senior Prom with her wife, Elissa McDade.
Dale, an adult-outreach librarian at Arlington Library, proposed hosting a Pride prom and helped plan the event, with a goal of fostering community and encouraging dialogue among attendees. As part of the decor, she included black-and-white photos of Pride and LGBTQ+ activists from different periods in history. One was a 1980s photo of her friend who lived in Santa Barbara, California, and died from AIDS.
Dale said one younger attendee appreciated the intergenerational conversations at prom, especially about coming out or why some couldn’t. “I like the different experiences of the different ages,” Dale says. “As I get [older], I still have a lot of younger friends, and I hope to always keep that.”
Vicki Salamon, 44, of Arlington, wore a glittering gown to attend the Pride prom with her partner, Melissa Mullins, 43. Mullins came out in high school, went to prom with a tight-knit group of friends and wore a pink dress. At the Pride Senior Prom, she wore a blazer.
Salamon has been comfortably out for about three years. “To be attending an event where I feel I can be my comfortable self means a lot to who I am as a person,” says Salamon.
The joy that filled the Arlington Public Library prom was undeniable, a remarkable success story for attendees craving a do-over or — like Fisher — a debut milestone experience.
“I’ve been able to really heal a lot of feelings I had about my high school experience, and this is sort of the icing on the cake of that,” Fisher says of the night. “In your senior adult life, when you find ways to sort of reconnect and have a healing moment in your life, it’s an amazingly wonderful, happy thing.”
The key takeaways were created with the assistance of generative AI. An AARP editor reviewed and refined the content for accuracy and clarity.
AARP Membership
Join AARP for only $15 per year with automatic renewal. Get instant access to members-only products and hundreds of benefits, a free second membership, and a subscription to AARP The Magazine.
More From AARP
The Beautiful Truth About Coming Out
Diana Nyad came out to her mother more than 50 years ago. Choppy waters followed
These Five Boomer Pals Slay on Social Media
Five gay friends took to social media to relate their experiences to younger generations
Dance Parties Designed for Older Adults
Laura Baginski and a pal created dance parties that end at a sensible hour