What Is Skin Hunger and Why Is It Affecting Older Adults

Skin hunger and older adults. Licensed marriage and family therapist Tameca N. Harris-Jackson compares skin hunger in older people to failure to thrive in infants.

When infants don’t receive touch after a period of time, she says, they can emotionally and medically atrophy. The same can happen to adults.

“The skin is an organ with nerve endings underneath it. It can let us know that we exist, that we matter. It grounds us,” says Harris-Jackson, founder of Hope & Serenity Mental Health Counseling and Wellness Center in Altamonte Springs, Florida.

But she says society tends to see older adults as unworthy of touch unless it’s for medical reasons.

Dacker agrees. Older adults, especially those in their 80s and 90s, are often cared for medically but not emotionally, and that can include a lack of touch, she says. “We have a culture that just doesn’t honor older people,” she adds.

Engage in self-touch. Touch is available to us in many capacities, first and foremost through self-touch, according to Francis.

“What would it be like to touch yourself more? Slow down in the shower and actually feel your hands running over your body,” she says. “I’m a big fan of oiling the skin — that’s a lovely way to feel touch.”

Licensed psychologist Rachel Needle recommends warm baths, soft clothing and self-massage with lotion to calm the body’s craving for tactile input.

Among Field’s recommendations:

• Take a walk. Walking stimulates the soles of your feet. The bending of your knees, the swinging of your arms — these also stimulate the skin.
• Rub your body on a foam roller, and use a handheld massager or vibrator. These are easy ways to apply pressure and touch to many different parts of the body. 
• Sleep under a weighted blanket. The heaviness against the skin can help ease anxiety.
• Massage the nape of your neck. The nerves at the nape of your neck go right to the brain, so this exercise can be extremely effective. All you need to do: Take three fingers and make circles, applying moderate pressure.

Add a social dimension to touching.  Appreciate and be aware of the touch you get in everyday activities like massages, manicures and haircuts, Needle says.

Francis suggests trying hobbies that involve touch, such as partnered yoga, tai chi or dance classes. Interaction with animals can also help. If you don’t have pets, she suggests volunteering at an animal shelter. 

Also, Francis says not to be shy about asking for a hug from close friends and family.

Ask yourself: Is touch the main issue? Before concluding that your issue is purely touch-based, licensed mental health therapist Rebecca Hartman wonders: “Living alone, what is your connection to other people?” and “Do you have emotionally intimate connections to others?” Check in on your emotional connections, she says, and, if they are lacking, that’s something for you to work on, too.

Harris-Jackson suggests hanging out with friends as a way to build connections. As she puts it: “Laughing with friends can release those endorphins and all the feel-good chemicals you need,” even without touch. “All of this helps you to be in a state where you feel you matter, that your existence matters.”

A parting thought. Needle, codirector of Florida-based Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, urges you to be gentle with yourself.

“Missing touch doesn’t mean you’re needy; it means you’re human,” she says. “Seeking connection is part of caring for your overall well-being.”