I Tried Binge-Dating at 60. Here’s What Happened

Diving quickly into a relationship was exciting, but when I came up for air, this is what I learned

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Published December 10, 2025

Monica Garwood

Welcome to Ethels Tell All, where the writers behind The Ethel newsletter share their personal stories related to the joys and challenges of aging. Come back Wednesday each week for the latest piece, exclusively on AARP Members Edition.

While I strive to adopt a “less is more” attitude to simplify many things in my life, when it comes to dating, “more is more” is how I roll. Case in point: I recently left the country with a man I’d known for less than three months. Am I impulsive? Maybe. Am I grateful I took the calculated risk? Absolutely.

When my previous relationship of three years ended, I assumed I’d stay single for a good long time. I leaned into my girlfriends, who offered the expected respite and joy. But one offered inspiration as well. On a visit to spend time with her in Utah, I witnessed her decade-strong, still-giddy marriage to someone she had met online. I decided if she could find that, maybe I could, too.

Back home in Washington, D.C., I downloaded the dating app Bumble. A few dates came and went. Then one day I matched with Michael (not his real name), a 64-year-old lover of travel and adventure. His profile said he could work remotely. He lived in New York City. He was tall, dark — and intense. I swiped right. So did he.

We started texting, then FaceTiming nightly. The following month, we had our first in-real-life date. It began with dinner and ended six days later.

Michael and I were instantly, if oddly, compatible. I’m fiery, while he’s data-driven. I trust my intuition; he trusts his spreadsheets. Still, the speed with which we moved made me wonder: Did we get lucky, or were we onto something?

Culturally, we tend to associate bingeing with negative behaviors: overeating, excessive drinking, entire weekends lost to a Netflix vortex. But bingeing can also be a form of immersion — a way to dive deep into something that excites or nourishes you. Think of a good book you can’t put down, or the way you find yourself in the flow of a creative project. At an older age, you’re more likely to put down a book that doesn’t interest you so as not to waste time — and that holds true for relationships, too.

Dating later in life feels different than it did in my 20s. Back then, I was evaluating every man for “husband” potential. Now, I’m not looking for someone to be a partner in having and raising kids. What I want is a meaningful connection, adventure and laughter.

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I’m not alone in this shift. Recent research from Bowling Green State University’s National Center for Family & Marriage Research shows that remarriage rates for women, especially in older age groups, have declined significantly since 2008. In fact, older women often choose independence over remarriage. In an article in The Wall Street Journal, BGSU sociology professor Susan Brown wrote that many women in their 60s are fearful of becoming “a nurse or a purse.”

I had no plans to be either. So why not dive in? Neither Michael nor I minded the speed and intensity at which we moved. The long dinners and exotic travel gave us an intoxicating start. But later, in the quieter moments, we began to see each other more clearly. I started noticing the habits that don’t show up on a dating profile, like his allergy to my cat and tendency to snore.

Don’t get me wrong: I was grateful to have found such a catch at the age of 60. I appreciated the effort and thoughtful attention he put into our time together. He traveled to see me with zero prompting, flying to Italy to meet me there after a vacation with my kids. He made reservations and remembered my favorite Vitaminwater flavors.

And yet, by the six-month mark, I noticed something was lacking. What I truly desire is emotional intimacy — that invisible thread that stitches through honesty, presence and vulnerability. And this, I realize, is why I tend to plunge in. I want to skip to the good part, to that rare sense of being deeply known. Michael, with his careful, analytical nature, was reluctant to open. We weren’t getting any closer, and I eventually told him it was a deal-breaker. He acknowledged that something critical was not developing.

“There is so much good that we’ve had together; I think we did the right thing starting fast and don’t regret any of it!” his text read. We agreed that we’d both enjoy being friends.

So maybe binge-dating isn’t reckless — it’s strategic. Live, learn and leap toward what’s next.

AARP essays share a point of view in the author’s voice, drawn from expertise or experience, and do not necessarily reflect the views of AARP.

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