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The Skin Care Lessons I Wish I’d Learned Sooner
A stranger’s advice led me to ditch expensive beauty products and build a simple, personalized routine
Monica Garwood
Welcome to Ethels Tell All, where the writers behind The Ethel newsletter share their personal stories related to the joys and challenges of aging. Come back every other Wednesday for the latest piece, exclusively on AARP Members Edition.
The best skin care lesson I learned came from a complete stranger.
I was sitting at a restaurant bar in Beverly Hills next to an older man I’d never met. We got to talking, and somewhere in the middle of our conversation, he proudly pointed out how few wrinkles he had around his eyes.
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Then he told me his secret. A brown soap from Mexico, made from tepezcohuite, the bark of a tree native to the country.
I don’t even remember how we got on to the subject of skin care. I do remember thinking that for a man his age, his skin looked remarkably good.
So I listened. Not because I’m a beauty person. Quite the opposite.
I want healthy skin. I just don’t want taking care of it to become a part-time job. Yet for years, my skin had me searching for answers.
My face was chronically dry. I’d also developed rough brown patches — seborrheic keratoses, my dermatologist called them — that periodically sent me back to his office. He would burn them off. I’d be left with discoloration and an uneven texture.
So I’d smooth things out with laser treatments. None of them lasted. The patch would disappear and eventually return, sometimes in the very same place. Then I’d notice another spot. It was frustrating. And expensive. Which probably explains why I became vulnerable to the promise of shortcuts.
Walking down Atlantic Avenue in Delray Beach, Florida, with my mother one day, we ended up in a store selling a skin treatment that promised to erase under-eye bags and make you look years younger. I walked out with a lighter wallet, thinking I now had a miracle product that would solve all my problems. Once I brought it home, however, the product seemed less miraculous, and my skepticism of beauty marketing grew.
The conversation in Beverly Hills stayed with me. There was no sales pitch. No pressure. No package deal. Just someone sharing something that had worked for him.
I ordered the soap. I’m intentionally not naming the brand because this isn’t an advertisement, and the brand was never the point.
At first, I used only the brown Mexican soap and the matching cream. Years later, because I’m always reading and collecting ideas, I added a vitamin C serum. Later still, I added apricot oil.
My routine evolved the way a favorite recipe does. You don’t usually create your best recipe all at once. You add a little of this, a pinch of that. You taste. You adjust. Eventually it becomes your own.
Skin care, I’ve discovered, isn’t all that different. I’m obviously not tasting my face, but I am paying attention to how it feels.
Nothing I use was part of an expensive system. Nothing arrived in luxurious packaging, or promised to turn back the clock. I simply kept what seemed to work and let go of what didn’t.
At some point, I realized the rough patches weren’t coming back. The dryness was gone. My skin looked healthier.
Because the routine was simple, I stuck with it. Today, as I head toward 72, people regularly compliment my skin.
Am I claiming I’ve discovered a miracle? Absolutely not.
I have no idea whether the improvement came from one product, a combination of products, time, luck or something else entirely. What I do know is that I finally stopped chasing miracles.
I’ve also come to believe that healthy skin isn’t only about what we put on our face. When I’m stressed, exhausted, dehydrated or simply not taking good care of myself, my skin usually lets me know.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become less interested in finding the perfect product and far more interested in taking care of the person wearing it. So when people ask what I use, I tell them I have a simple routine that was built over time. I mention the soap, the serum and the oil. But I also tell them that what works for me may not be what works for them.
For me, the biggest skin care lesson wasn’t finding the perfect product. It was learning to trust my own experience more than the guarantees printed on a package.
Skin Care Lessons I Learned
Don’t buy under pressure. If someone wants you to decide on the spot, walk away. If it’s really worth buying today, it will still be there tomorrow.
See a dermatologist about suspicious spots. New, changing, bleeding or unusual growths deserve professional attention.
Simple can be enough. A routine doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated to be effective.
Don’t confuse “tight” with “better.” Temporary tightening isn’t the same as healthier skin.
Treat your routine like a favorite recipe. Add one ingredient at a time, pay attention to the results and keep only what truly works for you.
Protect your skin. For me, especially in Florida, sunscreen is the last step before I head outside.
Consistency beats novelty. The best skin care routine is the one you’ll actually stick with.
AARP essays share a point of view in the author’s voice, drawn from expertise or experience, and do not necessarily reflect the views of AARP.
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