AARP Hearing Center
“I’ve worked since I was 14 years old, and I realized that a big part of my identity was attached to that,” says Annette Johnson, 64. “I allowed limiting beliefs to control me.”
Matt Roth
Retirement isn’t just a financial transition — it’s an identity shift many of us struggle with, especially after decades of defining ourselves through our careers. Just ask Annette Johnson.
More Ways to Benefit
- Related Benefit 1
- Related Benefit 2
- Related Benefit 3
- Related Benefit 4
- Related Benefit 5
“I’ve worked since I was 14 years old, and I realized that a big part of my identity was attached to that,” says Johnson, 64, who recently left her position as head of cultural programs at a Boston-based software company. “I allowed limiting beliefs to control me.”
Gregory Reid
What’s Your Biggest Retirement Mistake?
Retirement isn’t just about leaving a job. It's about changing your life — your routine, your budget, your priorities, where you live. It's decision after decision, and you don't always make the right one. Is there something you wish you’d done differently?
AARP Members Edition wants to hear about your retirement regrets. A mistimed exit from the office? A move to the wrong place? A relationship you gave up? Spending too much, or too little? Share your story at retirement@aarp.org and we might feature it in this series.
That made it hard for her to see herself beyond her professional standing, and it kept her working years after she had secured her financial future.
She and her husband of 40 years, Rufus Johnson, had meticulously planned for retirement. They saved diligently and had found their dream home — a townhouse on a golf course near Ocean City, Maryland, a short drive from Atlantic beaches. In preparation for the move, they downsized from their New Jersey house to a one-bedroom apartment, reducing their housing costs by 65 percent.
The plan was that both would retire once they moved to Maryland. Rufus, who worked for 40 years in government in Newark and Essex County, New Jersey (including five terms as an elected county commissioner), embraced retirement immediately. Annette, however, couldn’t bring herself to quit.
“I was just stuck,” she says.
She continued working remotely at her corporate job, increasingly aware of the disparity in their daily experiences.
“I was working and sweating things on the job,” she says. “Meanwhile, my husband plays golf three times a week. He’s relaxed, not stressed and is living his best life because he trusts the plans.”
Rufus eventually confronted her about the disconnect between their careful preparation and her reluctance to retire. “He was like, ‘We have a plan. When are you going to activate it?’ ”
A wake-up call
What kept Johnson working wasn’t financial insecurity, although she acknowledges that played a role. The primary problem was a deeply ingrained habit of perpetually seeking the next achievement, the next validation.
“Instead of celebrating my wins and my success, I had been fixated on what I didn't accomplish or what I didn’t do,” she says. “When I look back, I’ve done some amazing things.”
A first-generation college graduate, Johnson went on to earn a master’s degree in organizational leadership and work for a Fortune 500 company. But the impressive résumé couldn’t silence the critical voice in her head.
“That pesky little voice said, ‘Yeah, but you didn’t make it to the executive level or this dollar amount of gross income or this number in retirement savings,’ ” she says. “This fear is real. All these messages. I was just convincing myself that I’ve got to do more, more, more and that I don’t have enough.”
Her perspective began to shift when she received notice in late 2024 that her position was being eliminated. Her last day was Jan. 10.
Rather than plunging into a job search, she saw the layoff as an opportunity — a sign that it was time to embrace the retirement life she and her husband had planned years ago. “When I got the message about this job ending, I said, ‘You know what, God? I am going to fully let go and trust you.’ ”
Annette Johnson enjoys the screened-in porch at her townhouse in Ocean Pines, Maryland. Now fully retired, she says she regrets not stepping away from her corporate job sooner.
Matt Roth
‘I should be at the beach right now’
The past three years had been particularly challenging as Johnson found herself increasingly disenchanted with her work. “It’s the same corporate crap and the same superficial lens and effort,” she says of her last role. “It’s been exhausting, and I’ve felt the weight of it all.”
That realization helped her see the need for change. “There are plenty of ways for me to feed my soul without it being attached to soul-sucking work,” she says. “It just drains the life out of you.”
Looking back, Johnson wishes she had recognized earlier how her negative self-talk and distorted perspective about her accomplishments were holding her back from enjoying the life she and Rufus envisioned.
“I felt like I was working and not enjoying life. At work, I was like, ‘I should be at the beach right now,’ ” she says.
She’s also coming to terms with what she has achieved and realizing that “there’s nothing left to prove.” That’s brought her newfound peace and appreciation for what she and her husband have built.
“We sit on our screened-in porch with a glass of wine, and we just take it all in,” she says. “We envisioned this house down to the T. I pray and I meditate out there. We listen to music, talk and laugh with company.”
Her advice to others approaching retirement is straightforward: “I do believe it’s important to have a plan. But trust the plan and work the plan. And celebrate what you have put into the plan and your wins. Don’t let fear ruin your plan and your vision.”
What the pro says
Johnson’s experience highlights a common challenge many professionals face when transitioning to retirement — letting go of a work identity that has defined them for decades.
“What we often see with high-achieving professionals is that their sense of self-worth becomes deeply intertwined with their career accomplishments,” says Jacqueline Schadeck, a certified financial planner and founder of Golden Wealth Strategies in Bethesda, Maryland. “Even when they’ve met or exceeded their financial goals for retirement, the psychological hurdle of stepping away from that identity can be enormous.”
Schadeck says financial confidence is the foundation that helps enable that mindset shift. “In retirement, people need to see their portfolio as a source of income — providing a steady paycheck, just like their job did for years.”
She also recommends that people approaching retirement spend time visualizing and even practicing aspects of their post-career life well before they officially retire.
“Start building parts of your retirement identity while you’re still working,” she advises. “Develop interests, relationships and routines outside of work that will carry over after retirement. This helps create a bridge between your professional identity and your retirement self.”
For those who feel stuck, like Johnson — financially ready but emotionally unable to retire — Schadeck suggests working with a certified financial planner, a financial therapist or a retirement coach who specializes in helping people navigate this transition.
“The decision to retire isn’t just financial — it’s very personal,” she says. “Acknowledging that fact is the first step toward making peace with your new chapter.”
AARP Membership
Join AARP for only $15 per year with automatic renewal. Get instant access to members-only products and hundreds of benefits, a free second membership, and a subscription to AARP The Magazine.
You Might Also Like
Living With Kid's Family: Lessons Learned
Navigating family dynamics can be a challenge with multiple generations under one roofWhen Re-entering the Workforce Doesn't Work
Money was tight, but unretiring was bad for my health
Why I Regret Taking Social Security Early
Claiming benefits at the minimum age can shore up cash flow but comes with a cost