The Girl Scouts Are Knocking On My Door. I Feel Bad Saying No

Can’t buy a box of Tagalongs this year? Don’t feel ashamed or guilty

Lizzie Post,

AARP

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Published April 11, 2025

Jon Krause

Thin Mints. Samoas. Do-Si-Dos. We all have our favorite Girl Scout cookies, the tasty product of a fundraiser that started back in 1917.

In a typical year, Girl Scouts sell about 200 million boxes of cookies. But we don’t always have the money to buy a box.

If you’re in that boat, here’s what our financial etiquette columnist recommends.

The Girl Scouts are coming around, but between my grandkids and my church, I’ve maxed out my donation ability. I hate to say no, but the pressure to donate doesn’t feel good, either. Help!

A free cookie to anyone who can sing the Troop Beverly Hills “Cookie Time” song in full. It’s what pops into my head whenever I hear the words “Girl Scout cookies.” Those Girl Scout cookies. Man, who can resist a Thin Mint? Not me! Especially if they’re frozen.

But you. You can resist. This is not because the Girl Scouts aren’t a worthy cause — it’s because making charitable donations, and supporting causes of any kind, is optional. It’s your choice to participate, and that choice is something that is personal to you, your values and, perhaps most important, your budget.

Whether it’s your religious institution, local hospital, shelter, food bank or other charitable organization, the ways in which you support your community — and the time and funds you have to do it — are up to your discretion and, if you wish, private. Nowhere in the world of etiquette do we say that you need to have the desire or the money to support others when they come asking. It’s great when you can make a donation to a charity or cause that you’re passionate about, but that’s not always financially feasible, and that’s OK.

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Culturally, Americans often struggle with the word “no.” Many of us feel uncomfortable saying it, especially to kids who are participating in programs designed to help them learn and grow. (And to cookies, which, let’s face it, are very tempting treats.) That is a lot tugging at your heartstrings in one doorway exchange or grocery store exit. And, in saying no to a charitable request, you might fear that people will see you as a Grinch — or a cheapskate with a crossed-out dollar sign on your forehead indicating that you don’t care about your community. But that’s simply not the case (and don’t worry, you have nothing on your forehead).

Think about your own moments of community outreach. Did you ever think badly of someone who said no to a fundraiser? Unlikely. Sure, you may have been disappointed not to receive a contribution to the cause, but you didn’t judge them for it. If anything, you probably thanked the person for their time.

Rest assured, the Girl Scouts who come knocking on your door won’t judge you, either.

Zooming out: At the Emily Post Institute, we encourage people to be confident and kind with their nos. Whether you’re being asked for a date, a favor or a donation, there’s no need to feel ashamed or guilty for saying no. Feel self-assured that saying no is the right thing for you at this moment.

There’s also no need to hide from the Girl Scouts or make it look like you’re not home when they stop by. Instead, I encourage you to engage with these young scouts and offer them kindness as you decline their sale. And remember: Kids are experienced at receiving a “no” because they hear it all the time from their parents, for better or worse. (“No, you can’t stay up late.” “No, we aren’t going to grab fast food on the way home.” “No, you can’t go to Allie’s house this weekend. We’re visiting Grandma.”)

Want a little help crafting a response? Try: “Thanks for coming by. It’s a no for me this year, but I really appreciate how hard you kids are working and all the great things you learn in the Girl Scouts.”

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Lizzie Post is the great-great-granddaughter of etiquette legend Emily Post. She’s the co-president of The Emily Post Institute, co-author of Emily Post’s Etiquette: the Centennial Edition and co-host of the Awesome Etiquette podcast.