A Home of One’s Own

Erin, 44, lived at home until 2022, when she moved into the same apartment complex where Scott and Lauren live.

“Erin moving to an apartment was probably the most difficult decision I've ever made,” says her mom, Peggy. “At the time, I thought no one could care for Erin better than I could. But it was the right decision. She’s become more independent, and she loves her roommates.” 

During the week, Erin does volunteer work at a local nonprofit organization. She returns to her parents’ home most weekends. Peggy and Dave joke that they have “shared custody” with the staff at the apartment complex. 

Erin’s housing situation also benefits the couple’s son. “He's married and has got a full plate with his own children,” says Dave. “He’s a great brother to Erin, but we feel better knowing that it's not going to all fall on him when we pass.” 

Peggy and Dave served on the board of Favarh (pronounced FAY-var), the Farmington Valley, Connecticut, chapter of The Arc, which is the nation's largest community-based organization serving people who have I/DD. To parents seeking a residence for their adult child with I/DD, Peggy and Dave recommend connecting with a local agency, public or private, because they'll understand the applicable laws, regulations and options.

“It’s a relief to know Erin is safe and that the staff love her and vice versa,” says Dave. “For 40 years, it was rare that Peggy and I could go off on our own. We've been able to do that now. It sounds a little selfish, but that's been good for our marriage.” 

When asked to describe how she and her roommates feel about their new apartment, Erin quickly responds: “Pretty nifty. Pretty nifty. Happy campers.”

Megan

Kim and Scott's daughter Megan, 26, has Down syndrome. She has had a tracheostomy tube since infancy so communicates through American Sign Language (ASL). 

“People will see someone signing, and they automatically think that person is deaf,” notes Kim. “When someone assumes Megan is deaf, she will indicate that she can hear. People don't need to know how to sign to her, because she can hear. However, knowing ASL does make it easier to understand what she's saying.”

Megan will be moving into an integrated supportive housing complex that's now under construction. When asked what she thinks about soon living on her own, Megan says she’s excited about being able to “have an independent life" like her friends do. She has already connected with her future roommate, Kristin, 28, who is not hearing impaired but knows ASL and is excited to be able to use it. 

Megan, Lauren and several residents of a nearby integrated supportive housing complex work at a cafe owned by Megan's family. Megan works the counter, trains new employees and pretty much does anything needed. She was the inspiration for the business, where half of the employees have I/DD. 

The establishment’s motto: Everyone Belongs.

_{Amy Lennard Goehner is a reporter (formerly on staff at Time Inc. Magazines) and the parent of an adult son with autism. Melissa Stanton (formerly an editor at Timc Inc. Magazines) is a senior advisor and editor for AARP Livable Communities.} 

_{The inclusion of specific communities and programs in this and related articles is not an endorsement by AARP.}

_{Page published March 2025}