Staying Fit
Geriatrician Vince Perrelli often cares for COVID-19 patients at work, but that hasn't stopped the 77-year-old from dating and finding love — even in a zoo parking lot.
On Perrelli's first date with his current girlfriend, the couple met up at the shuttered zoo and ate barbecue takeout in Perrelli's convertible. They didn't need to worry about the dangers of dining in or being too close to others.
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At work, Perrelli wears multiple masks and personal protective equipment and is tested regularly for COVID-19. But the virus has still “dramatically” altered the way he socializes.
For that first date, he says, “It changed the entire format.” And with few options for fancy meals and costly activities, “It's also a lot less expensive.”
Throughout the arc of the pandemic, quarantine and initial vaccine rollout, dating has evolved. At first, it was put on hold by many older adults who worried about their health and virus exposure, but as COVID-19 lingered people got creative in finding ways to connect. Even as older daters await the coronavirus vaccine, they’re still navigating how to find romantic partners, get beyond video chatting and how to how to safely move ahead with sexual activity.
Communication is the key
Perrelli, who met his girlfriend through the Selective Search dating service, says protections like masking and coronavirus testing play an important role, even in long-term relationships.
4 Tips for Coronavirus Dating
1. Use video chat to get to know someone well before deciding to meet up.
2. Communicate clearly about your preferences regarding masks and social distancing before meeting in person.
3. Get creative about dates and outings that meet your social distancing requirements.
4. Use precautions like masking, condoms and washing up when it comes to sexual activity.
Barbie Adler, the founder and president of Selective Search, says Perrelli's approach during the pandemic is the norm. Over half of her company's clientele is over age 50, and the company has been busier than ever since the pandemic began.
While not every couple will be on the same wavelength about social distancing, wearing masks or quarantining, communication is the key for navigating this dating landscape, she says.
"Everyone is going to have a different comfort zone. You don't need to apologize, you just need to be a good communicator,” Adler says. “If that person isn't understanding, you have to decline.”