Coping With Isolation During the Coronavirus Outbreak

With older Americans being instructed to stay home and avoid contact with others to deter the spread of COVID-19, feelings of isolation are naturally emerging — especially among those who are home alone. We asked Val Walker, an expert on coping with isolation and author of The Art of Comforting and the forthcoming 400 Friends and No One to Call (due out March 26, from Central Recovery Press), for practical advice on ways to stay connected and maintain mental and emotional health.

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How can we avoid feelings of isolation while stuck at home?

Find one person with whom you can share your own worries and feelings over the phone. Is there a comforting friend, family member, therapist or chaplain for you to call, to talk openly and privately? In these challenging times, it is perfectly natural to feel afraid, lonely or overwhelmed. If you have no one with whom you can talk, call your local agency on aging and find out how to gain support. If you have previously seen a psychotherapist or faith-based professional, consider reaching out to them.

How can I catch up and check in on friends without leaving my house?

Take the initiative to call your fellow older adults to check in with them and practice good listening skills. Make a contact list of people to call and check in daily or every few days. Start with those in your close circle of friends and then move outward. You can go through your old letters, address books, alumni contacts, email addresses and memorabilia to reconnect with “long-lost” friends, classmates or coworkers who you haven't been in touch with. It might be uplifting and reassuring to reach out to them — and they would likely love to get a call. Provide empathy, understanding and comfort by listening with acceptance and compassion. Try not to judge others or hand out quick advice before you have listened first. You can also share what is on your mind. Believe it or not, we often can find support by offering our support. We can exchange our knowledge with one another about local resources for medicine, medical services, stores, food pantries, supplies and news updates on the coronavirus.

What are the best ways to connect with friends and family using technology?

Many older adults use videoconferencing such as Skype, FaceTime and Zoom. This allows for conversations to happen — and in these times, we need to have good conversations and “think out loud” as we cope with coronavirus issues. It can be helpful for a family member or friend to teach how to use these services and apps. At an assisted living program where I work part-time, I have been teaching seniors how to stay in touch with their family members and loved ones by using their smartphones and iPads. But the most important tool is the phone.

Other suggestions include reaching out the old-fashioned way with greeting cards and letters, and sending text messages or emails with your photos and checking in.