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Insider Secrets From a Top Wedding and Event Planner
Marcy Blum shares expert tips to create a flawless celebration, including when to skip traditions and why you should consider making a speech
Event and wedding planner Marcy Blum’s secrets to a memorable wedding include thoughtful personalization, guest-focused details, and a willingness to forego tradition in favor of what best reflects the couple.
Amber Day
To Marcy Blum, no detail is too grand and no request too bold. For more than 38 years, the elite wedding and event planner has served a celebrity-filled Rolodex that includes Billy Joel, Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick, LeBron James and Savannah James, and Kevin Love and Kate Bock. She arranged for Snoop Dogg to perform in a fortress in Dubrovnik, Croatia, and turned part of the historic New York Public Library into a club for Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent’s 2014 wedding.
Blum has come a long way since planning her first event in 1986, after a career as a chef and food consultant in New York City — a job that gave her valuable insight into the ins and outs of the fast-paced hospitality industry.
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Today, with more than 500 events under her belt, Marcy Blum Events is known for transforming dreams into reality — including her own destination wedding at St. Barts in 2023 — while showcasing what’s special and important for each individual or couple celebrated.
She’s here to share her best-kept secrets on creating a flawless and memorable event for you, your spouse and your guests.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Plan the wedding and celebration together
It’s very important for young couples, too, but it’s even more important for older couples who have their own ideas to incorporate everything in a way that makes them both excited for the celebration: favorite foods, important songs and especially who to invite!
When it comes down to it, realize that it’s all about respect for each other on this important day. Focus on the fact that you’re marrying someone you’re in love with and how lucky you both are for finding each other. Make sure to stay present, even when you’re arguing about mushrooms, seating assignments or whatever, because there’s a reason you’re celebrating.
Feel free to break traditions, including tossing the bouquet. The bride can simply hand it to someone she loves.
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Traditions are optional
For example, it’s really lovely when the first dance includes not just the newlyweds but all of the merged family. I also find that when my couples are planning a second wedding — or even third or fourth — they usually want to do the things they didn’t get to do at their first wedding, probably because one of their parents planned it or they weren’t as involved. Maybe you don’t have a seated dinner. Maybe your reception’s just a lavish cocktail hour with dancing. Maybe you skip the toasts and just have both of you or one of you speak to the guests instead.
You can start things later. It doesn’t have to be a 4 p.m. ceremony. You can hold a more intimate ceremony and then a large party afterward, maybe not even the same day as the ceremony. You can wear color! You can skip tossing the bouquet — I really love it when the bride hands it to someone she loves who she hopes will marry soon.
Be realistic with the guest list
Before you even think of the venue, you have to know your guest list. Be very strategic: You don’t have to invite all of your business associates or distant relatives, especially if you’re having a smaller celebration or a different type of wedding, like a fabulous tasting meal with wines or a dinner party. For instance, I planned a wedding of 130 people in Tuscany last summer, inspired by A Midsummer Night’s Dream. LeBron James’ wedding to his high school sweetheart, Savannah, was private and touching, but Rickie Fowler and Allison Stokke’s wedding included tacos and plenty of golf!
Use alchemy, not an algorithm, for guest seating
When picking who sits next to whom, I recommend inspired seating. This means that you imagine yourself sitting at that table and come up with the most interesting group of people you can think of. Who would want to meet whom? Where should the various groups be placed in the room itself? Think alchemy over algorithm.
Leave Fido at home
It may seem like a good idea to bring or incorporate your dog in your wedding, but it’s better to leave them at home. Instead, take photos with them in your wedding attire before the event, or stage a separate photo shoot if you want to include them in the moment. This is a day to celebrate, not worry about whether your fur baby is feeling stressed.
Feed them, don’t quiz them
I always think it is tacky to ask someone six months in advance what they would like to eat at your reception. Most venues will allow a choice of two entrées at the table so that you don’t have to put a questionnaire on the invitation. If not, consider family-style sides.
People who feel pretty, act pretty
Lighting is your secret weapon, and it’s something many people don’t pay attention to, but it’s as important, if not more important, than florals. Candles will give you the most bang for your buck, and you can add clusters of them everywhere. Both candles and flowers in the bathrooms make a big impact. Just make sure your venue will allow it — and if not, there are battery candle options that can offer a similar glow.
Turn the ceremony into an experience
If you can afford it, and it’s that kind of ceremony, add a singer or a choir. A nonreligious choir singing pop music is extremely impactful at a ceremony. It gets the whole thing going. I would consider having something special for the cocktail hour rather than just a couple of band pieces. And I think people enjoy dinner music that’s clever and fun, like a piano player with a singer, or a guitar without vocals.
Hands down, a great band and DJ for your reception makes all the difference and provides the best bang for your buck. One major tip: Find out whether the band brings their own sound system or if it’s an additional cost. Do the same with a DJ.
Giving a speech together as a couple is a great way to acknowledge your relationship and connect with your guests.
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Make a speech at your wedding
Couples usually dislike speaking at their own wedding, but I always suggest they do so, as long as neither is too shy or has too much stage fright. It’s a way to acknowledge their relationship, their guests, and something they could do around the time they cut the cake, so it stands out from the rest of the celebration.
Make cocktail hour extra special with intentional details
Serve two different kinds of wines and an array of cocktails. You don’t have to have a full open bar, but I would never, ever do a cash bar. It’s like billing your guests for coming to your party. If you can’t afford a full bar, offer beer and wine to keep costs down, and consider creating a fun mocktail (or two) for the day for those who want something fancy but aren’t drinking alcohol. Overall, make sure to provide a huge variety of interesting drinks, punches and fruit-ades.
Rethink wedding favors
No one wants pastel Jordan almonds or another monogrammed wine stopper. What I like is when the couple gives really clever favors, like the celebrity couple who gave car air fresheners with their photo and signature, or favors you can eat, whether you leave the party a bit tipsy or have them for breakfast the next morning. One of my most well-received favors was a Bloody Mary mix that paired with coffee cake for the morning.
Making the cake-cutting a moment to mingle
The traditional cake-cutting doesn’t have to be a big, announced moment. Couples can let it happen naturally while creating more opportunities for guests to mingle with a dessert buffet or an interactive sweets station. I love a truly indulgent dessert buffet where the cake serves as the punctuation rather than the entire focus. A variety of delicious options that encourage guests to get up, explore and enjoy the celebration together.
Create a memorable experience by writing personal notes to your guests.
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Add personal touches guests will remember
Couples can ask guests when they RSVP to include a couple of favorite songs they’d like to hear during the reception. They’ll get a kick out of being included. The bride and groom can also write notes for each guest, which can be placed at each table setting. Specific notes like, “I remember we were in grade school together,” or “Do you believe this is happening?” Another way is to mention those in attendance at the wedding in the toasts so they know you’re really delighted they’re there.
Shoot for the stars as long as you have the budget
You can aim to book big-name entertainment like Snoop Dogg for a wedding, as long as you have the right budget, of course. It starts with contacting their agent, who will basically say, “Make an offer, and we’ll get back to you.” From there, it’s negotiation: finding a date that works, then working through the rider and all the performance requirements that come with it. You’d be surprised who’s available if the price is right.
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