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My First Time ... Being Called ‘Cute’ by Someone Younger
While it can sound infantilizing, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing, says this writer
Maria Speidel and her husband hiking near their home. When someone younger calls you "cute," says Speidel, it usually means "old."
Courtesy Maria Speidel
My husband and I were making our way over a rutted patch on our local hiking trail. We pushed aside branches and emerged onto a lookout point occupied by a man and woman in their 30s — just barely young enough to be our kids. The woman admired our brightly colored hiking sneakers and pointed to her feet. She wore the same kind! Thus ensued a lively conversation grounded in a mutual love for mountain paths and adequate arch support. Just four healthy, urban adults, communing as equals. Or so I thought. But as we separated, the woman shouted, “You guys are so cute in your sneakers!”
What? When someone significantly younger calls you “cute,”’ they usually mean “old,” as in I-can’t-believe-you-dragged-your-brittle-bones-up-this-hill old. I’ll admit I’ve used the word myself to describe a man in his 70s flirting in an Italian deli. So I was taken aback to have it applied to me, especially since — just let me repeat — this person was wearing the same kind of sneakers.
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As kindly as our fellow hiker meant her comment, that’s what led to my pique. Apparently, we were “cute” because she didn’t expect people in their 50s to be dressed as fashionably as her.
But trudging down the hill, my irritation quickly cleared. I looked into what Elvis Costello calls the “deep dark truthful mirror” and found a more charitable interpretation. While “cute” can sound infantilizing, it also shows an appreciation for qualities like endurance, joy and the grace to wear life lightly. And it’s true: We had not let our various physical aches, nor our age, keep us off the trail or out of the trendy shoe store. If that’s cute, I’m good with it.
AARP essays share a point of view in the author’s voice, drawn from expertise or experience, and do not necessarily reflect the views of AARP.
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