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The Best Holiday Gift I Ever Received

What latte lessons taught one amateur barista

David Hochman,

AARP

Published December 07, 2024

a man drinking a cup of coffee next to his coffee maker

David Hochman in his kitchen drinking one of his creations.

Maggie Shannon

My first thought when I unwrapped my wife’s gift on my 55th birthday two years ago was, “Wow, an espresso machine! No more waiting in line for $6 oat milk lattes.” But as I took in the pressure gauges, the dispense switches and the intimidating steam wand, a second thought bubbled up: “How on earth do you work this thing?”

I spent the better part of a year pretending I had it under control. And bless my sweet, encouraging wife: Ruth cheered me on with daily affirmations about my killer barista skills and how stunning each morning’s attempt at latte “art” looked. “What’s this one, honey? A panda bear? Wait — no, it’s Snoopy, right?”

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It was supposed to be a rose.

I knew I could do better. The coffee was either too watery or too sludgy, and my designs in foam were as unpredictable as a Rorschach test.

The kicker? My 20-year-old nephew landed a summer job at a trendy coffee shop and, despite having zero experience, was pouring foam hearts and swans like the Michelangelo of steamed milk after just two days on the job. He laughed when he saw the shaky blobs I was producing after, shamefully, six months of practice.

At a certain point, I had to ask: Is this just a latte, or an existential crisis in a cup? In midlife, do you throw in the towel and accept that your talents lie elsewhere, or do you double down, determined to master the art of self-expression, even if it’s one frothy swirl at a time?

The author creates a latte for his wife, Ruth, using the espresso machine she gave him for his birthday.

Maggie Shannon

Ruth, ever loving and graceful, chose to ignore my caffeinated spiral into self-doubt. She stopped the morning color commentary and simply marveled at every creation, “How lovely!”

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Her radical nonjudgment pushed me to improve, and the campaign continued. Over the holidays last year, she upped the ante with a follow-up gift: a three-hour lesson in latte art. My first, inglorious thought? “Wow, I must really be a loser.”

But then I met Lena, the brewmaster general at a local café who arrived in our kitchen to gently tutor me through the process of grinding, tamping, steaming and a less aggressive pitcher-pouring wiggle. (“Easy does it,” she said. “It’s a like paint brush, not a firehose.”)

Lena coached me to grind the beans to the texture of table salt, to press the coffee grounds to the density of a puck in the portafilter, and to steam the milk to exactly 150 degrees to achieve the perfect paintlike consistency for pouring. I found myself not only learning but — dare I say — transformed.

It turns out, a latte is not just a latte. After 25 years of marriage, I drank in the idea that Ruth’s gift was less about perfecting foam art — though, yes, my designs have improved, with some ongoing help from hours of free YouTube tutorials. (Especially my hearts, which somehow feels appropriate.) It was about something more essential: that sometimes the smallest challenges in life, the most trivial-seeming pursuits, are where we find the quiet spaces to stay curious, to keep pushing, to grow.

David Hochman serves up one of his creations.

Maggie Shannon

In the end, making lattes means more than whether the foam swan looks like a swan or whether the foam leaf looks more like an abstract painting. Some days I still get Snoopies when I’m trying to whip up roses. But Ruth’s thoughtful holiday gift is a reminder that persistence isn’t glamorous and that learning never truly ends, especially when you’re willing to embrace change in unexpected places.

On a brighter note, I’ve noticed a little less shade from my fancy latte-crafting nephew lately. I’ll occasionally send him photos of my crema creations, and he’ll respond with a “nice” or even a “wow.” For someone his age, that’s practically a standing ovation — and worth way more to me than six bucks.

David Hochman is a longtime contributing editor for AARP The Magazine and AARP Bulletin. His bylines appear in The New York Times, Forbes, GQ, Food & Wine and many other publications.

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