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Melinda French Gates, 60, on Life, Divorce and Her New Memoir, ‘The Next Day’
The philanthropist talks to AARP about how she learned to cope during tough times and what brings her joy
AARP (Jason Bell; Courtesy Pivotal)
Melinda French Gates, 60, has had a remarkable life — from her early days working as a computer scientist and manager at Microsoft back when women were rare in the field, to marrying the company’s cofounder, Bill Gates, and later joining him to helm the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, the philanthropic powerhouse focused on global health that they launched in 2000.
But, like anyone’s life, hers has been marked by sometimes difficult changes. She decided to end her marriage, leading to her divorce from Bill in 2021; and last year she left their foundation to target her efforts toward the cause closest to her heart: improving women’s health, power and well-being in the U.S. and across the globe. She’s pledged a whopping $2 billion to help do so.
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Now a grandma and an empty nester (she has three adult children and two young granddaughters), Gates has come out with The Next Day: Transitions, Change, and Moving Forward (April 22), a book that’s part memoir and part inspirational guide, highlighting seven pivotal moments in her life and the wisdom she gained from each.
The message to readers? That change is inevitable. “The good news,” Gates writes, “is that these moments of transition can be important opportunities for discovery and growth — in part because they demand often difficult, but ultimately incredibly valuable, inner work.”
Melinda Gates (then French) with her parents, Ray and Elaine French, on commencement day at Duke University in May 1987, when she received an MBA from Duke’s Fuqua School of Business. She earned a bachelor’s degree from Duke in computer science and economics in 1986.
Courtesy Gates Archive
Thoughtful and reflective, she quotes poems, describes how her beloved friends keep her grounded, and how meditation helped her learn to hear and listen to her inner voice during tough transitions.
Gates talked to AARP from her home in Seattle about the book, leaving the foundation (and Bill), being a grandmother, and more.
What inspired you to write this book now?
I was lucky enough to be asked to do the Stanford [University] commencement speech last June, and when I met with the class presidents to get their input on what they’d want me to talk about in the speech, they said, “We feel like so many of our peers here are on one track. They’re studying one field, or they’re getting a degree in something and thinking they’re just going to keep going on that track, maybe for 20 years. Could you talk a little bit about leaving some opening for change?” And I thought, Oh, I definitely have something to say about that. So I did the speech, and then I realized there was a lot more I wanted to say on the subject.
Melinda Gates with students at the Ludzi Girls Secondary School in Malawi in 2023. Amal Clooney and Michelle Obama joined her on a mission to end child marriage in that country.
Courtesy The Obama Foundation
What is the big takeaway from your book?
The real point of the book is that we should stop in what I call that clearing between when you leave one thing — whether it’s college or a career or somebody passes away — and jumping to the next activity or event or job. There’s a huge amount to learn in that wide-open space. Listen to your inner voice during that time. Surround yourself with other people who are living their values and who you can have a trusted relationship with, because they’ll also help you find your inner voice and nurture it.
You describe how your father nurtured your interests early on. How did his support shape you?
I was incredibly lucky because he worked on the Apollo program, so he was on the cutting edge [of] innovation in math and science. He was so enthusiastic about it. My parents were both always encouraging that a girl can learn anything. Then, when my math teacher brought five Apple II computers into the classroom, my dad bought this Apple III, giving my sister and me more time to play on it, to code. ... For a daughter to know their dad has their back, I think it's pretty profound in terms of your self-confidence.
You write about how you decided to end your marriage. Was it hard for you to share such a personal experience?
People knew I had been through a divorce. It was public, so it would have been disingenuous not to include it. And it was definitely a painful time, but I also grew through it. Unfortunately, a lot of people do go through divorce, and I wanted people to be hopeful and know that there's a lot of growth that can come both then and on the other side.
What made you decide to move on from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation last year?
It was just a good time to make a transition. And I felt there was work to be done, globally but especially right now in the United States, to make sure that women can step into their full power. I wanted to spend more of my focus, time and resources on that … through a company I started in 2015 called Pivotal Ventures. When I left the foundation, I announced that I would be putting another billion-dollar commitment down on behalf of women. Part of that is for women's health and well-being; part of it is [focused on] women's rights; and part of it is trying to advance women in the workplace.
Melinda Gates with granddaughter Leila in 2024.
Courtesy Evergate Stables
You have two little granddaughters. What’s it like being a grandma?
Oh, it is the best. They're on the East Coast, but I try to see them about every six weeks. And what's so fun about it is, with little kids, you're out doing silly stuff that you wouldn't do by yourself. One granddaughter, who's 2, has a tiny little trampoline. And if she goes on the trampoline, Nonna [has to go] on the trampoline.
How do you feel about aging?
I feel great about it. I don't feel 60, and my health is better than when I was 55 or 56. I have less stress in my life, that's for sure. But to me, age is just a number. I hope that I'm evolving, learning and growing at every age.
How do you stay healthy as you age?
When the weather's good in Seattle, I walk — I walked seven miles yesterday. I have a gym; I biked this morning on the Peloton. I ski in the winter. I love to be outside and to combine travel and exercise, whether that's hiking or kayaking. The one thing I do not like is swimming, even though it’s really good for you. I just cannot do it. I get bored.
(From left) Melinda Gates with friends Charlotte Guyman, Emmy Neilson-Levin and Killian Noe visiting New Mexico's Bandelier National Monument in 2013. Gates says close friendships bring her joy.
Courtesy Gates Archive
What brings you joy?
Close friends. One of my favorite things to do is to have a small, intimate dinner. This weekend, I had three girlfriends over, and we had lunch together. We caught up, and it was a rainy day, so instead of going out for a walk, we played a bunch of games. It was so much fun. Then, on Sunday night, I called up a girlfriend, impromptu, and I was like, “Hey, you want to come over and do some takeout? I'll go pick it up.”
I would never think Melinda Gates would go out and pick up takeout herself.
I definitely went and picked up takeout! I was in my sweats and it was raining, so I was like, OK, I'm going to throw on a jacket with a hood, and hopefully nobody recognizes me.
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