Staying Fit
The holiday season is upon us, and it’s the time of year to connect with family and friends. It’s also the perfect opportunity to talk to a loved one about future needs, specifically where and how they want to live as they age.
TV host and designer Ty Pennington, of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition fame, joined AARP family caregiving expert Amy Goyer on a webinar to discuss how to assess your loved one’s needs and create a safe and attractive home they can enjoy in their later years.
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Pennington, who has traveled the country renovating homes and communities, is a caregiver for his mom, Yvonne Pennington, 81. During a trip to her home one Christmas, he noticed that she was facing some mobility challenges, which spurred him into action. He set out to modify her living space to make it easier to navigate.
When making changes to your or a loved one’s home, Pennington, 58, suggests addressing “struggle” points first. “When you see [an older adult] struggling to go up or down stairs, you realize that you have to put that on your list,” he says, noting that ramps or lifts may have to be installed.
Another key pain point: bathrooms. “You need to think about widening doors and having roll-in access that goes right into a shower,” he says. “Make sure that there's an entrance that can fit a wheelchair or a walker all the way into the shower and then, of course, safety grips and bars so that you can get on and off the toilet.”
Even small adaptations — such as improving lighting to prevent falls, taping down or removing rugs and installing movable threshold ramps for tricky stairs — can make a big difference, Goyer and Pennington note. They stress that these changes can still be attractive and flow with the overall home's look and feel.
Pennington, who now splits time between his home and his mother’s place a couple hours away, installed HEPA filters to address her severe allergies: “She's allergic to literally life, and so all the air that she breathes now is as clean as a hospital’s.”
Being a caregiver to his mom has been life changing, he says. “The magic of living with your loved one again … I mean, I was asked to leave at a young age,” Pennington laughs. “So the fact that we're living together again is so awesome. I love it. She's one of the most fun people I’ve ever met.”
Courtesy Ty Pennington; Courtesy Amy Goyer
Tips from Amy and Ty on Addressing Change
- Talk early and often. “The last thing you need is to make decisions in a crisis,” notes Goyer.
- Do your homework first: Observe your loved one in their space so you can see what they need to be safe and comfortable.
- Start by expressing your love and concern. “Be really clear that your thoughts and actions are motivated by your desire to help them, not to take over their lives,” says Goyer.
- Ask how they are doing and validate their feelings. “Change is hard for everyone,” notes Goyer.
- Involve the right people in the conversation. “It might be helpful to have somebody objective to facilitate the discussion. Again, the doctor, the financial adviser, the lawyer, the friend — whoever they might be interested in listening to more.”
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