How to Fake Your Way Through a Round of Golf

Whether you haven’t played in years or are just a little rusty, here’s a primer to get you back on the green

Kevin Cook,

AARP

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Published July 21, 2025

Photo Collage: AARP (Source: Shutterstock)

Editor’s note: This story ran previously in The Arrow, AARP’s online magazine for Gen-X men.

It’s one of golf’s toughest tests: You’re teeing it up with players who are way better than you. Can you survive without A.) holding them up; B.) embarrassing yourself; or C.) taking up tennis

Yes, and it’s simpler than you’d think.

You already know not to move or talk when someone’s swinging. You know that whoever’s farthest from the hole goes next. But did you know it’s crucial to put a personal mark on your golf ball? It’s not enough to know you’re playing a Titleist 2; Roy might be doing the same. Use a Sharpie to tattoo your ball with a dot or star so you know it’s yours. This is actually in the USGA’s Rules of Golf: “The player should put an identifying mark on the ball to be played.”

And it’s best to play fast. Decide which club you’re going to use as you approach your next shot. Take a practice swing or two, but no more than two.

After you hit, watch your ball like a hawk. Pick a landmark to help you find it: “just past that tall palm” or “left of the porta potty.” The rules allow just three minutes for hunting errant shots. While you’re at it, watch everybody’s shots that way. Finding another player’s ball in the rough will make you a hero.

Above all, know that your playing partners don’t care what you shoot. They’re far more focused on their own games and what you think of them. So relish your good shots, forget your chili dips, and keep eight more tips in mind:

In golf, down is up

Novices often swing upward, trying to get the ball into the air. But that’s what the loft on your clubs (the angle of the clubface) is for. Hit down on the ball to make it go up.

Watch good golfers swing

Emulate their tempo. Many amateurs hurry their swings (and even putts!) as if to get them over with. Good swings are syrupy, with all the force building to the moment of impact.

If you’re out of the hole, pick up

There’s no shame in quitting a hole if you’ve got no shot at a double bogey. If you’ve already hit five or six shots and you’re still not on the green, pick up your ball and say “I’m out of this one.” It speeds play and proves you’re a realist.

Trapped?

It’s fine to take practice swings in a bunker, but your club can’t touch the sand — that’s a two-stroke penalty.

Near the green, putt if you can

That’s how Cameron Smith won the Open Championship in 2022: by putting around a cavernous bunker. A decent putt from the fringe ends up closer than the vast majority of chips and flop shots.

Tee it up on par 3s

Plenty of golfers hit their tee shots right off the turf on par 3 holes. Bad idea! Using a tee, preferably a broken one you find in the tee box, helps your chances. Don’t tee your ball too high on par 3s — a half-inch is enough to simulate a nice, fluffy lie. As Jack Nicklaus said, “Through years of experience, I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt.”

When in doubt, take more club

More than 90 percent of approach shots from off the green end up short of the hole. If you’re wondering whether to hit a 6-iron or a 7, reach for the 6.

Know some entertaining golf lore

Did you know Sam Snead won bets by leaping to touch ceilings with his foot? Your playing partners probably don’t. Legendary gambler Titanic Thompson bet he could drive a ball 500 yards — and collected, after waiting till winter and smacking one onto a frozen lake. Did you know that the hole is 4¼ inches in diameter because that was the size of the drain pipes Old Tom Morris repurposed as cup liners at St. Andrews? If not for an accident of Scottish plumbing, we might all make more putts.

Finally, remember three phrases that make you a great golf partner: “Good swing.” “Bad bounce.” And, when the beverage cart rolls by, “I’m buying.”

AARP essays share a point of view in the author’s voice, drawn from expertise or experience, and do not necessarily reflect the views of AARP.

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