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9 Erogenous Zones Not to Ignore During Sex

Increase arousal with a game of ‘sexploration’


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HANNAH WHITAKER

Ever gone on a fruitless search for the body’s erogenous zones? It might be time to venture beyond the usual go-to spots. 

Think of it as a game of “sexploration.” And hopefully the destination will introduce you to an entirely new happy place. 

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“So many people don’t know the full playground of their own body,” says Tameca Harris-Jackson, a sex educator with the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists and a certified sex therapist. “Many go straight for the obvious.” Her advice? Get creative and play with the body in new ways. 

Here are nine body parts to pay attention to when getting your groove on. 

The brain.

This might not be the sexiest part of the body to think about, but Harris-Jackson calls it the most important when what you’re after is a satisfying intimate experience. It’s also the place where you want to start. 

“When we invite someone into our intimate space, what we start doing first is connecting with each other mentally — feeling comfortable, feeling safe,” she says. That happens by way of communication.   

Once our brains are OK with connecting intimately, Harris-Jackson says, then we can get to touch. 

Vulva.

With women, Harris-Jackson suggests starting with the vulva, that fleshy area where the pubic hair grows, touching, caressing and kissing the outer and inner lips of the vaginal opening before proceeding to what she calls “the prize”: the clitoris.

“It’s a very sensual way to help the body open up and help the person become much more receptive to having the highly charged clitoris massaged," adds Harris-Jackson, who is based in Altamonte Springs, Florida.

The clitoris.

This body part — or what one can see of it — looks like a small button, but beneath the skin on either side of the vaginal opening is a complex structure housing roughly — get this — 8,000 sensory nerve endings that affect over 50,000 nerves across the body when stimulated.

What many people don’t know: A groundbreaking study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy in 2017 showed that more than 36 percent of women require clitoral stimulation to climax during intercourse and an additional 36 percent reported that it helped enhance their orgasms. Only 18.4 percent said that vaginal penetration alone was sufficient to orgasm.

Harris-Jackson’s advice? During penis-in-vagina sex, the woman might use her hand or fingers or a vibrator to simultaneously massage her clitoris as a way to invite orgasm. It’s also helpful to use a lubricant because the skin in and around the vulva and clitoris is fragile.

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The neck.

In therapy sessions, Amanda Pasciucco, a certified sex therapist, clinical sexologist and marriage and family therapist based in West Hartford, Connecticut, talks to couples about what types of touch get them to that place that’s “sweet, sensual and sensuous.” Often, she says, it’s the side of the neck.

Some couples talk about being in missionary position and holding one another’s face and side of the neck. She says it is “really sweet for some people.” 

“Others like deep pressure against the side of the neck, something that’s really erotic to a lot of clients,” Pasciucco says.

The back of the head.

As for the back of the head, Pasciucco suggests starting at the nape of your partner’s neck and advancing five fingers above that. Then press gently on the head and, if someone has long enough hair, lightly pull it horizontal to the floor.

“Everyone wants different pressure or type of touch,” she says. “You’re playing with the neurobiology of the body. We get different feelings and sensations from doing different things.”

The G-spot.

Located in the anterior wall of the vaginal opening and connected to the clitoral network, the G-spot is a bean-shaped area that inflates to the size of a walnut when aroused. But it can be tricky to locate.

To find it, Harris-Jackson suggests lying on your back, inserting two fingers in the vagina and making a “come here” motion. There are also toys with a hook or are hook-shaped that imitate the “come hither” movement. The structure can deliver intense pleasure, sometimes resulting in female ejaculation.

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The prostate.

The so-called male G-spot is an often forgotten component of the body that can bring significant pleasure and orgasm when massaged, according to Harris-Jackson. Massaging the penis and prostate at the same time intensifies the experience.

Access to the prostate, located between the bladder and the penis, is through anal entry using a finger, a penis or a sex toy designed for prostate stimulation. It’s a region with fragile tissues, so the use of lube is essential. Harris-Jackson also notes that this is pleasure that can be enjoyed by anyone with a prostate, regardless of sexual orientation.

Nipples.

Due to their nerve endings, the nipples can produce significant pleasure when teased, touched, pinched, licked or kissed, according to Harris-Jackson. Nipple vibrators and clamps may enhance the experience. When the mind connects that titillating touch to pleasure, the body becomes more aroused, sometimes resulting in an erection or lubricated vaginal canal along with a full experience of orgasmic pleasure — what she calls a “nipple orgasm.”

One caveat: Some women, particularly those who have had children, may prefer not to have their nipples touched. “If their breasts have been heavily used for nursing, they may no longer view the nipple as a sexual component,” she says.

The skin.

That brings us to the largest sex organ: the skin

“Our skin covers our entire body,” says Harris-Jackson, adding good news for those who are worried they’ll never find the right spot: “Wherever we have skin there’s a possibility for an erogenous zone.” Locations to consider: the lower back, back of the thigh — just under the lower butt cheek — the inner thigh and the abdomen. 

Harris-Jackson routinely gives her clients homework, breaking the body into potential erogenous zones that couples then explore together: head to chest, chest to waist, waist to feet, and the back of the head. 

She encourages partners to touch each other in new ways, using feathers, ice and warmed fingers, while also applying different levels of pressure.

“What happens is they start to play in that way, developing their own sexual map. This map becomes helpful. If the couple wants a slow, romantic, intimate encounter, they will start gently here, then go there, building up arousal,” she adds. “If all they have time for is a quickie, they’ll know how to take a faster route.”

Video: Sex and Your Libido

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