8 Happiness Myths and the Truth Behind Them

3. Happiness is genetic.

What science shows: “It’s a combination of genetics and environment,” says Robin Miller, an integrative medicine expert and instructor of the Wondrium series The Scientific Guide to Health and Happiness. Genetic differences account for approximately 40 percent of the variation seen in happiness propensity, with the remainder attributed to environmental influences, according to 2022’s “World Happiness Report.”

Even though happiness can be partially genetic, that “doesn't mean that you’re fated to be a certain level of happiness,” says Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology and author of The Myths of Happiness: What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn’t, What Shouldn’t Make You Happy, but Does. Her research is often referred to as the “happiness pie,” with happiness slices of 50 percent genetics, 40 percent activities and 10 percent life circumstances.

Emiliana Simon-Thomas, the science director of the Greater Good Science Center, agrees that genetics is not destiny when it comes to happiness. “There’s a lot of opportunity for people to behave in ways to prioritize their time and attention and effort in ways that can lead to changes in their happiness.”

4. If you become disabled, you will never return to your former level of happiness.

What science shows: “There's something called the disability paradox,” Miller says. Although potentially devastating, disabilities don’t necessarily preclude happiness. “As long as your needs are met and you’re comfortable, you can get back up to your [previous] level of happiness.”

If you’re in a car accident and then lose a limb, most people think that they could never return to their former state of happiness, but research shows that this isn’t true. “Generally, we fall back to this happiness set point,” says Mike Rucker, a psychologist and author of The Fun Habit: How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life.

One study compared happiness levels of lottery winners and people paralyzed by an accident. Surprisingly, lottery winners were not happier than the people who experienced paralysis. Over time, all of the people in the study returned to their former state of happiness in a process called “hedonic adaptation,” Godkin says. Hedonic adaptation is when people return to their former state of happiness after a positive or negative event.

5. Losing weight will make you happy.

What science shows: Restrictive diet programs might yield quick results. But “people who are actually successful in losing a substantial amount of weight are actually less happy,” Godkin says. A study out of London suggests that obese people who lose weight are most likely to report a depressed mood.

Sometimes people think that if they lose a certain amount of weight, like 10 pounds, then they will be happy. “That’s a big myth,” Simon-Thomas says. “It’s the same as the money question: If I just got another bonus, I'd be happy.” People might experience momentary happiness after losing weight or receiving a bonus, but “all of those things quickly become normal, and you adapt to them,” she says.

Lyubomirsky adds: “Generally, happiness isn’t really found in external things.”

6. Being in a relationship or married will make you happy.

What science shows: “We expect that [getting married] is going to take all our problems away, and it doesn’t,” Godkin says. She explains that when people first get married, they experience a “honeymoon phase,” or increased satisfaction and positive emotions, but that doesn’t last. “We return to this state of happiness that we were at before,” she says.

7. Happiness is up to the individual.

What science shows: Happiness might seem to be rooted in the self, but your community matters. “If I’m happy, but all the people around me are not, I’m not going to stay happy,” Simon-Thomas says. Often people think that they can learn how to be happy without factoring in the people who they interact with on a daily basis. But according to Simon-Thomas, “Our happiness depends on the happiness of others.”

8. All of my happiest years are behind me.

What the science shows: “It’s never too late,” Waldinger says. He explains that he devoted a whole chapter of his book to trying new things or making changes to your life no matter what your age is. As an example of this perspective, Waldinger recounts the story of a man from his research study who is in his 60s and joined a gym for the first time in his life. The man ended up finding a group of friends at the gym, and the experience was a revelation. Now “I have a group of friends who I feel really connected to,” the man says.

Waldinger stresses the importance of feeling connected to others as a key to happiness. In his book, he says the most important takeaway that he can offer is: “Positive relationships are essential to human well-being.”