Things They Don’t Teach You in School

Q: Perseverance has been a consistent part of how you got to where you are today. Has your son picked up that lesson from you?

A: My son works as a production assistant in television. He’s 29. I’m a little more open. He keeps his emotions to himself. I think he appreciates the behind-the-scenes part of the business. He saw me struggle while he was young. I think he loves actors, but I think he’s a little skeptical of them, too.

He once gave me a hard time. When your kid is 16, things are hard anyway, but he once watched me go out to the mailbox hoping there was a residual check there, and he laughed at me and said, “You’re pathetic,” or whatever kids feel about their parents at that age. But I think he respects me now, and he certainly knows how tough the business is.

Q: That must have been a tough thing to hear from your son.

A: The thing I’m more proud of than anything is being the father of Andrew. He was born three years after my accident, and he’s his own guy, which makes me happy. He’s been a challenge at times, but he’s a wonderful young guy. He’s very smart. I have a kid who knows right from wrong, and who people really appreciate, and I’m so grateful for that. Surviving the accident was an important thing, but the great gift in my life is my son, and I have to be careful to give him the space he needs.

Q: Have you ever had a real heart-to-heart with him about the accident and the lessons he should take from it?

A: I kept a diary while I was in the hospital and showed it to him when he was 16 or 17. He knows my story. He actually worked on our show for a while, but he found it difficult to be himself around Dad. The ultimate thing I can say is, I love him and he loves me, and that’s all I ask. The rest will work out. We talk weekly, and we get together for dinner, and we go see a movie once in a while.

I love my dad and respect him and miss him, but I never hung around my father that much because my dad was a lawyer and engineer, and he really didn’t understand what I was about. I was supposed to go to law school at UCLA — I was admitted — and instead of going to law school, I went on the road with a band. My father freaked out. Later, on his deathbed, he said to me that it was the single best decision I ever made.

There are a few chances in life where you get to take a different road. I think it’s important to stay creative, look at the moment and look at the future. I’m one of the lucky ones. I get to do what I love doing, and I don’t feel old at all. It’s dangerous to think you’re 18 when you’re 60, and I hate people saying 70 is the new 40 and all that crap. But I do know that the spirit a person has can be nurtured, and I wanna keep my spirit alive as long as I can.