Rethink your job search with the AARP job board. Find opportunities for experienced workers today.
by Nancy Kerr, AARP, March 3, 2017
Feuds often start as small clashes that can blossom into bigger battles.
Silver screen stars Joan Crawford and Bette Davis may hold the title for Hollywood’s longest unresolved feud, but in real life a protracted, painful disagreement is light on banter and heavy on heartache.
Join or renew your AARP membership today to receive great benefits and discounts
So how can you end a battle and still walk away with your head held high?
Talk it out, in person. Feuds often start as small clashes that, when ignored, blossom into bigger battles. When Tom Cruise dissed Brooke Shields about “endorsing” prescription drugs for postpartum depression in her book Down Came the Rain, the penitent superstar made it his mission to go to Shields’ house and apologize in person. If a one-on-one chat has the potential to get heated, enlist a third party to keep the conversation on track.
Acknowledge your part in the disagreement. Perhaps you didn’t start the fight but extended it by lobbying and enlisting friends to see your side of the story. (Remember the Team Aniston vs. Team Jolie T-shirts after Brad Pitt split with then-wife Jennifer Aniston?) Take responsibility for your own actions.
Resist the urge to claim victory. When the controversy gets resolved, move on and don’t gloat. Debbie Reynolds took the high road when husband Eddie Fisher had an affair and later married her close friend Elizabeth Taylor. Years later, the onetime schoolmates reconciled on a cruise ship. Reynolds graciously accepted Taylor’s mea culpa, and they remained friends until Taylor’s death. Advantage, Reynolds.
Sign up for the AARP Leisure Newsletter — news and discounts delivered to you every month
Please leave your comment below.
You must be logged in to leave a comment.
Members save 15% all day, every day at participating locations.
Members save $65-$200 on round-trip tickets purchased online.
Members save 5% on a monthly subscription.
AARP members receive exclusive member benefits & affect social change.
You are leaving AARP.org and going to the website of our trusted provider. The provider’s terms, conditions and policies apply. Please return to AARP.org to learn more about other benefits.
Your email address is now confirmed.
Manage your email preferences and tell us which topics interest you so that we can prioritize the information you receive.
Explore all that AARP has to offer.
In the next 24 hours, you will receive an email to confirm your subscription to receive emails
related to AARP volunteering. Once you confirm that subscription, you will regularly
receive communications related to AARP volunteering. In the meantime, please feel free
to search for ways to make a difference in your community at