12 Ways for Caregivers to Lessen Holiday Stress

The holidays can bring great joy, but as a family caregiver I can also attest that the season can spur additional pressure. According to a new AARP survey, 7 in 10 family caregivers say it is emotionally stressful to care for loved ones during the holiday season. 

As caregivers, we often have unrealistic expectations for ourselves, striving to create the perfect holiday experience for our loved ones. That’s why the vast majority of family caregivers plan to make at least one accommodation during the holidays. Indeed, the survey also found that the average caregiver makes about three to four changes. 

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Some find someone else to cook or purchase their holiday meal. Some cut back on holiday spending or take on extra work. Many scale back on decorating, while others postpone holiday vacations. And not a small number skip celebrating altogether. 

Despite the challenges of caregiving, about one-third of family caregivers actually feel more positive about the holidays since they started caregiving. I know I do; it feels good to be of help. If you are caring for loved ones, I recommend that you try to accept that things are going to be a bit different this year — for both you and your loved ones. But there are steps you can take, both big and small, that can help minimize your holiday stress and maximize your holiday joy.

Here are a dozen ways to adjust your holiday expectations and celebrations:

1. Fill your tank first: We don’t expect our cars to run on empty and we can’t either. Find quick ways to fill your own tank, like making time for a terrific peppermint mocha or a visit with friends. Or maybe it’s a good night’s sleep or a day to yourself.

2. Line up someone to listen: It really does help to express our fears, stress and frustration to another. A friend or family member can play this role, or you can contact a local or online caregiver support group. 

3. Adjust holiday meals: I’ve found that purchasing most of the food, making just a few favorite family recipes, takes less time and clean up is a snap. We’ve also gone out to a restaurant for holiday meals when we need a distraction from grief and stress.

4. Cut back on the decorations: I’ve scaled back the number of decorations, displaying only the ones that are most meaningful. I’ve also paid others to help me or invited friends over for a decorating party.