I Laughed Off Teen Angst — and It Worked!

When all else failed, this writer got results by going goofy

Cheryl Maguire,

AARP

Comments

Published March 11, 2025

a man using a microphone like it's a stand up comedy routine

Michael Parkin

Like most successful parenting techniques, I figured this one out by running out of options. My daughter was an age-appropriate angsty 14-year-old, and we had a different idea of cleanliness. To me, her room was the aftermath of a Category 5 hurricane. To her, it was cozy.

I would rage, and she would ignore me (thanks, noise-canceling headphones).

Then one day I said something that changed our whole dynamic. I opened her bedroom door and asked, “Is this huge mountain of clothes some type of science experiment to see how high it can get?”

Shockingly, she didn’t roll her eyes or yell at me. Instead, she actually laughed at my joke. And what is even more surprising is she responded with, “I’ll put it away.” I couldn’t believe it! Not only did we not argue over her albatross of clothes, she cleaned up the mess. All those years of arguing and all I had to do was tell a joke!

And when I looked into it, I found science backed me up. A study done in 2024 and published in Science Daily found you can change a negative parent-child dynamic by responding to your kiddo with humor instead of an annoyed, angry tone when there’s conflict.

After some reading on the topic and watching a few stand-up comedy shows, here’s what I’ve learned.

I went for what my teen thought was cool. Unlike comedians who are trying to elicit a laugh from hundreds of people, you only need your teen to at least crack a smile (because let’s be real about results here). I knew my daughter loved science and experiments, so that’s why my Mount Everest line worked. If your teen likes movies, you could use the same type of delivery but change it to the movie topic by asking, “Are you trying to re-create a scene from the movie Animal House?” I realize that’s a dated reference that most teens wouldn’t understand, so that was more for your amusement, so fill in your movie reference of choice. I just created a fill-in-the-blank joke for you. You’re welcome.

Most Popular

I used the element of surprise. Humor is all about surprising someone, and I’m positive that when I made the joke about her laundry, she wasn’t expecting it. Before, I either got upset or pretended that the Himalayan pile of clothes didn’t exist. So, using humor was enough to catch her off guard. And then, if you’re really lucky, you’ll get a laugh (yes, half laughs/half sighs count for teens).

I was very punny. I love puns and use them any chance I get. The good news is that there are tons of them on the internet, and there are even entire joke books dedicated to puns. Or, if you want to create one, there are pun generators. They are often also referred to as “Dad Jokes.” You could try something like, “I lava you, even when you are acting like a volcano.” Or maybe “I do-nut know why you are angry, but I’m hoping this will 'glaze' over it soon.”

I embraced the silly — like cartoon-level silly. If you watch stand-up comedians most of them don’t just stand there. They make foolish faces and physically act out the comedy. I dig deep to find my inner SpongeBob or other similar cartoon characters. My other go-to: dancing! Trust me, your teen will think it’s awkward and funny, especially if there isn’t any music on.

I made an impression. I don’t watch South Park, but my daughter is a fan. I’ve managed to master the main character Cartman’s ridiculous tone and manner of speaking. If I use this and say just about anything, including an observation about the state of her science experiment laundry pile, she’s going to laugh. You can do the same with any cartoon character and even repeat their lines like Carman’s infamous, “Respect My Authoritah!”

I didn't try to be comedian-level funny. My goal is just to defuse a conflict, not bring down the house. And chances are, your teen won’t heckle you. (OK, I can’t promise that last part, but it’s better than yelling.) At worst, you’ll probably get an eyeroll, but you’re probably immune to that at this point, right?

AARP essays share a point of view in the author’s voice, drawn from expertise or experience, and do not necessarily reflect the views of AARP.

%{postComment}%

Cheryl Maguire is a freelance writer whose work has been published in The New York Times, National Geographic, The Washington Post, The Boston Globe, Parents Magazine, Healthline and many other publications. She is a professional member of the American Society of Journalists and Authors.

Unlock Access to AARP Members Edition

Join AARP to Continue

Already a Member? Login

Recommended for You

Benefits Recommended For You

See All