Stories from Caregivers: Cindy from OHIO
OH
Cindy
FROM OHIO
I am an only child of 2 of the best parents in the world. Mom suffered from dementia but stayed on her feet and went to church every Sunday. Daddy was devoted to Mom and they were married just short of 65 years and each passed 3 weeks before their 90th birthday. Both born in 1916 and passing 6 months apart in 2006. Only my oldest daughter came on her lunch hour to be Daddy's ears when the therapist visited and to make sure her grandma and grandpa had every thing they needed but most of all they knew their family cared. Eva and Donald dated 7 years and were married 6 years before I was born. I joke Daddy probably had to have a coupon. When I was growing up, they didn't go anywhere unless I could go with them. We managed with .33 cent chain locks on both sides of the door to make sure Mom didn't take an unexpected walk. She never forgot Daddy or me. The other children and grandchildren she called Sweetie or Precious. Mom passed from this world and from her own little bed; her last words were, "I'm going home." The preacher spoke about Mom during his Sunday sermon. He said everyone was in her room from the youngest to the oldest and he said he had never seen something like her passing before. Yes, being there for an elderly person was difficult and it could wear us down but there was never a question where Mom would live her last days and after her passing March 24, 2006, my dad did the best he could to stay on his feet and keep on keeping on. I remember the night he sat in their living room and he asked if Grant Hospital would admit him. I asked him what was going on and he told our oldest grandson Dusty and me he didn't want us to get sick trying to take care of him. I remember telling him to let us worry about that and he wasn't going anywhere. As long as Daddy stayed on his feet, we could manage. He continued to live in his home; eat and be the dad, Grandpa; Great Grandpa and finally a Great Great Grandpa being their for the birth of Safire Kyley Rose and saying, "Not many great greats get to be here." That summer Daddy's twin grandsons took turns staying with my dad every other night. They were his buddies and he appreciated their compassion and the time they spent with him. September 28, 2006, Daddy walked up the street surrounded by his oldest great grand daughter and great grandson. I arrived from work; we went into his house. He ate his supper and started into bed. When Daddy got into the small hallway, he turned around to me and said, "Thank you Cindy." Those words mean the world to me. Daddy stayed in bed all day Friday and appeared to be in a deep sleep. All the grandchildren showed up to be close to their great grandpa. They slept on couches and on the living room floor. All but Trenton who said it was his turn to be there for his grandpa so he climbed into the bed next to my dad. Dusty called me about 4:15 the next morning Sept. 30. Daddy had passed surrounded by everyone who loved him with all their hearts. Being a caregiver is very difficult; would I do it again? You bet I would because they cared for me when I was little and it was my privilege to care for them when they needed me. I was fortunate to have one daughter who was so caring and understanding and who believed it was an honor to be able to be there for her grandma and grandpa. Outsiders are busy with their own lives and unfortunately either don't have the time, patience or the understanding to help when there is a need. Life goes on. As a caregiver, even though time has passed, I am still tired. I still think what more could I have done. Did they know how much I cared and how much I loved them. I dwell on Daddy's last words, "Thank you Cindy." I wipe away the tears and keep on keeping on.
