Stories from Caregivers: Anne from MAINE
ME
Anne
FROM MAINE
Anne Palmer recently turned 81. She lives in Waterville with her 44-year-old son Todd - the oldest of her two children. "Todd is Todd - he's unique," she says. "What would you like to know about him?" Anne - a retired nurse - says Todd was in an accident 20 years ago that would change his life. "He was quite young, actually, and full of energy, when he took a ride on the back of a motorcycle and an old lady cut in front of them, and that was how the accident happened." The accident left Todd cognitively impaired and with neurological damage, which caused what his mother describes as a "left-side deficit" - a weakened left arm and leg, which makes it harder for him to get around. "I hold my breath when he goes up and down stairs because the stairs in our house - our house was built in the 1870s and the stairs are very short, and his feet are very long, and one doesn't like to turn sideways too well," she says. "But I've ordered some railings to be up on two sides so we'll have some up on both sides - for me as well as for him." Todd - who lives in a converted apartment in his mother's house - has good days and bad days, says Anne. On the day I arrived for this interview, Todd was due to come along, but he changed his mind. As his sole caregiver, Anne says the demands on her vary greatly. On good days, she says, Todd is fairly independent - he has an active social life and has developed a passion for bowling - good therapy, says his mom, but he's always going to need some level of care to get through the day. "He would get by, but with one hand it's difficult to cook," she says. "I've seen him try. With one hand he took the pot off the burner, and the left hand is dragging on the burner and he doesn't feel it." The biggest concern for Anne is what's going to happen to Todd in the long-term, when she's no longer around to care for him. "I'm drawing a blank," she says. "I mean, hopefully, there'll be somebody to hire and come stay in the house with him, unless he and his sister decide. But it depends on what she's doing - she works 24-7."
