Stories from Caregivers: Sheri from ILLINOIS
IL
Sheri
FROM ILLINOIS
Hi, I'm Sheri and this is my story. My mom, Ruth, was diagnosed with dementia in 2010. At that time, I didn't know what a diagnosis should entail so she didn't do any psychological tests to stage her. That turned out okay for us because it challenged me to observe what she could do rather than looking for declines caused by dementia. The first few years were tough as I had to move my thoughts away from what she had been able to do in order to figure out what she could now do. That time was also tough on her as she was very aware that something was going wrong with her brain but she couldn't figure out what to do about it. However, staying focused on things she could still do and reassuring her that everything would be okay helped make life comfortable. In 2012, she underwent treatment for breast cancer. Though she did not have to undergo chemotherapy, the medication she takes exacerbated her memory loss. As a result, her short term memory is gone but it has had an unexpectedly positive outcome. At this point in her life, mom lives completely in the moment. Nothing matters to her except what she needs and is experiencing at that time. It took the presence of this horrible disease to make her life a place where she no longer openly regrets her past nor worries about her future. My mom has taught me a lot throughout my life and she's still teaching. Through her, I too am learning to live in the moment. I'm learning to accept all the moments that fill my days for what they are. Some moments are great like when she's giggling at Laverne & Shirley or humming "Let it Snow"� on a 90 degree day while other moments are not so good like when she goes into Queen of the Cling-Ons mode or she has the evening crankies and just needs to go to bed. But living in the moment lets me know that a moment is just that, a moment. Because of this journey, I've learned that no matter what happens on any given day, I can hit the reset button at the end of each day and a new one will come up with the sun. When I get the new one, I can work on things that didn't go as planned on a previous day and revel in the things that did. Taking this journey through dementia with my mom is teaching me how to live fully and enjoy whatever life brings. Thanks mom for being such a good teacher.
