Stories from Caregivers: Irene from CONNECTICUT
CT
Irene
FROM CONNECTICUT
My parents divorced after 24 years of marriage. 3 years later my father had a stroke, and my mother took him back in to care for him. They then went on to live together for the next twenty some-odd years. Although my mother asked my father to remarry so she can get the benefits of his retirement, he refused. However she continues to take care of him till the day he died. Upon his death my mother received nothing! Her social security benefits are just over the amount qualifying for Medicaid. She ended up having to let her housego, and my husband and I sold our home and purchase a home with an in-law set up for her. We have for the past 3 years been living wonderfully together, however, there is an absolute financial burden. Her social security barely covers her copay for her medication, the extra insurance she needs to take out for prescriptions, her car insurance ( which she hardly drives but for independence sake hold on to), and cell phone bill. We take no money, we expect nothing. We provide all of the meals, snacks, clothing, haircut, food and medical for her dog, you name it we are backing her. We have four of our own children, three grandchildren and another one on the way. Our youngest daughter is in Florida struggling with an eating disorder and requiring an extra $800 a month for her treatment. My mother is such a wonderful person that I would never even consider asking her to move into an assisted living, or convalescent home. For the most part she is able to care for herself, although her housekeeping skills and hygiene are starting to slip. Our second youngest daughter ended up divorced and moving back home with her three-year-old daughter. My husband and I are the only ones that are really contributing to the household, financially and otherwise. My daughter back home is in College full-time trying to further her career, while I do the day care dropping off and picking up after I get out of work. The running of the household, both my mother's and ours, cooking, cleaning, helping bathe both my grand daughter and mom, laundry etc is tiring. I expected I would be having my daughters to take care of, but never prepared for my mom. My husband and I are both 51 and can only imagine what would happen if either of us fell ill. No matter the difficulties. My mother took care of us all her life and we will continue to take care of her.
