Stories from Caregivers: Laura from CALIFORNIA
CA
Laura
FROM CALIFORNIA
My name is Laura and I will bet 49 years old in a couple of weeks. My husband's name is William (aka: Bill) and he is currently 55. My husband was 53 when he had his strokes. There were two, to be exact. He almost died twice while in the hospital. His whole left side of his body was paralyzed so he spent one month in the hospital under a hospital drug induced coma in which they had to put a trachea and a feeding tube in him. After one month, he was released to a convalescent hospital that also had physical therapy to rehab his whole left side. I visited him almost every day. We have two sons, so I was very busy at home taking care of them, so some days, I was unable to come visit. I called him every day. Once he started to walk again, they released him into my care, so I just got thrown into the care-giving role. Some days, I devote the entire day to him and no two days are exactly alike and I am lucky if I could get some well deserved time to myself. My husband requires a lot of care and is a very demanding individual. After his meds, food, and bath, I often times need to take him to the doctor, in which I drive, since he is not allowed to drive until his neurologist gives him the okay. Also, his mental state is very low so I often times have to play his psychiatrist, but I also drive him to see is normal therapist about once a week. also drive him to group grief counseling and have to hold onto him while he walks due to wobbliness and then have to sit there while he balls his eyes out. What would really help me as a caregiver??? Hmmm, let me see...I would really like it if I could have some place where he could drop him off for one hour or two so that I could get a little respite time. I guess the best part of this experience is that it has taught me to not take my mobility for granted. My husband is really challenging since it is hard hearing him cry all of the time in self pity. I always feel bad for him, but there is nothing I could do for him that I am not already doing. I guess my tips for any caregivers would be to ask for help and to take that time away for yourself. Have a family member help out if there is one, go see a movie or at least take a walk or a nice hot bath. For me, I love my Caregiving support group. They always have a lot of really great ideas since I am the newer bee there! I also learn that I am not alone in this care-giving situation!
