Stories from Caregivers: Ken from ALASKA
AK
Ken
FROM ALASKA
Caregiving isn't always about our parents, or an elderly spouse or other relative. It isn't even always about a family member. About twenty years ago, when the AIDS epidemic was raging, little was known about the disease and there was widespread fear of becoming infected, even among healthcare workers. My partner became ill and eventually died, along with dozens of other friends and acquaintances of mine. For those who were sick, our community had no choice but to band together and form teams of people who could provide the needed support and care. Friends, family members, even strangers got involved in these "circles of care."� For my part, I was balancing a very demanding new job, taking frequent time off to make medical appointments and to tend to my partner's declining health and need for help. Besides the personal care, there were legal issues, financial issues, and plenty of emotional issues that dominated each day. Without the help of all our "unpaid"� care team members, it would have been undoable. As it turned out, despite the extremely serious and rapid course of the illness, my partner spent a total of only one night in a hospital, which was very unusual. It was thanks to the many "caregivers"� who came to our home, gave their love and assistance, and saw it through to the end. Many commented that our home felt like a "holy"� place. I believe it was, due to the presence of many angels filled with love, grace, and faith. He died at home, in his own bed, surrounded with love and care. As I now enter my own elder years, I will have the benefit of knowing the value of care given by friends and family. I will know how to do it again for someone else. And perhaps I will also be able to be grateful to those who may care for me.
