Alert
Close

Last chance – give now. Before 2014 ends, help struggling seniors. Donate

Highlights

Close
Life Reimagined $10,000 Sweepstakes

 

 

Introducing RealPad by AARP

 

 

You and Your Town Contest-You could win an AARP RealPad

 

 

Happy African American couple

 

 

Rewards for Good: Test Your Retirement Smarts

 

 

 

 

America's Winter Escapes Sweepstakes

 

 

FREE FUN!

AARP Games - Play Now!

Most Popular
Articles

Viewed

6 Ways to Make Lovemaking Great

What you need to know about female pleasure — for her and for you

En español | Female orgasms are like laughter: A comedian may be funny, but he or she does not "make" us laugh. Instead, we release laughter from deep within ourselves when the conditions feel right. So rather than trying to "give" your partner an orgasm, try focusing on what allows her to have one. These six suggestions can help:

See also: Quiz: How much do you really know about love and sex?

1. Don't aim for perfect timing. On TV and in movies and pornography, women always seem to have orgasms during intercourse. That's more fantasy than reality. In real sex, only about one-fourth of women are consistently orgasmic during intercourse. The rest require stimulation of the clitoris to reach orgasm.

Even prolonged intercourse seldom provides enough clitoral stimulation for orgasm. Most women need a little help from your hand, tongue or vibrator. Unless your partner specifically requests intense touch, caress her clitoris very gently. It contains as many touch-sensitive nerves as the head of the penis, but they're packed into an even smaller area. As a result, even gentle caresses may feel too intense for many women. Discuss this. If she doesn't enjoy direct clitoral touch, caress around the spot.

2. Touch her all over. From the scalp to the soles of the feet, every square inch of the body is a sensual playground. Yet too many men focus on a few corners and overlook the rest. Touch her all over. Think of sex as whole-body massage that eventually includes the genitals. Whole-body massage produces deep relaxation, which helps women (and men) have orgasms. Massage her gently from head to toe. Try massage lotion (available at bath and body shops). Some areas that can feel surprisingly erotic include the scalp, ears, face, neck, feet and — who knew? — the backs of the knees.

Save Money: Get AARP member discounts on travel, shopping and more

3. Slow down. Extended sensual warm-up time helps women reach orgasm. Compared to men, most women need considerably more time to warm up to genital play. So forget the wham-bam approach; when making love, do everything "half-speed ahead." Sex therapists recommend at least 30 minutes of kissing, cuddling and whole-body sensual caressing before going all the way.

Next Page: Vibrators and lube - break out of your bedroom rut. »

Topic Alerts

You can get weekly email alerts on the topics below. Just click “Follow.”

Manage Alerts

Processing

Please wait...

progress bar, please wait

Video Extra

 

AARP relationships expert Pepper Schwartz offers tips for planning a romantic weekend getaway to help couples recharge their sex life.

 

Tell Us WhatYou Think

Please leave your comment below.


Discounts & Benefits

From companies that meet the high standards of service and quality set by AARP.

1-800flowers.com (1-800flowers.com)

Members save 20% or $20 on purchases of $79.99  from
Fruitbouquets.com.

Collette Vacations

Members save up to $200 per couple on select tours with Collette Vacations.

Live Nation

Members save 25% or more when buying tickets in groups of four from Ticketmaster.

Member Benefits

Join or renew today! Members receive exclusive member benefits & affect social change.

Rewards for Good

Your Points Balance:

Learn More

Earn points for completing free online activities designed to enrich your life.

Find more ways to earn points

Redeem your points to save on merchandise, travel, and more.

Find more ways to redeem points