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‘More’ Demi's than June Cleavers?
News Release
September 29, 2003
AARP The Magazine Reports That One Third of Women Are Dating Younger Men
You don't have to be a glamorous movie star like Demi Moore to proudly sport a younger man. According to AARP the Magazine, 34 percent of all women 40+ are dating younger men.
In one of the first comprehensive studies to look at the impact and influence that 40+ singles are having on society, the November/December issue of the magazine www.aarpmagazine.org surveyed 3,500 single Americans aged 40-69 to get a handle on their dating behavior, their sexual activities and how they felt about being single. The results are surprising.
Not only do they date, but 35 percent of women prefer to date younger guys. (Men still prefer younger women too.) Older singles also have little interest in marriage. Instead they want someone to hang out with and have fun. And, contrary to their ‘free-love’ past, older grown up boomers are saying no to sex on the first date.
"The results really surprised us," said Steve Slon, editor of AARP The Magazine. "You might say singles in this age range are in search of ‘deep like’ not love. They want companionship, and don't want to add long-term commitments to their already complicated lives."
More men and women over the age of 40 are living alone than at any other time in the country's history. The Census Bureau reports that in 2002 there are about 34.4 million singles or unmarried persons in the United States ages 40-69. Yet the literature on them is sparse, especially research on their dating and sexual attitudes and behavior.
"The media has no problem finding studies on singles and their dating and sexual behavior when they are looking in the under 30 range." said Slon. "With maturity comes more realistic dating expectations and a greater comfort level in living alone and that's an issue that needs to be highlighted."
Among the highlights from "Lifestyles, Dating and Romance: A Study of Midlife Singles:"
Who they are:
- 56 percent of all singles 40-69 are currently separated or divorced from a spouse
- 31 percent have never been married
- About seven in ten (74 percent) of formerly married singles in their 50s have been single for five years or more
What they love about being single:
- 53 percent of those in our survey say having "more personal freedom" is the best perk of being single
- 38 percent say it's having their house and things just the way they want them to be
- 28 percent love not having to answer to another person
What they hate:
- 41 percent say not having someone to do things with is the worst drawback of single life
- 24 percent cite not having enough cash as the biggest downside
- 21 percent hate worrying about being alone in the future
Reasons for dating:
- 49 percent say to have someone to talk to/do things with
- 18 percent say to have fun
- 9 percent say to find a partner to live with, but not necessarily marry
- 8 percent say to find someone to marry
- 6 percent say to fulfill my sexual needs
Top two dating complaints of single men in their 50s:
- Dating partners who have a lot of "baggage" (42 percent)
- Women who "become difficult to get along with" after the first few dates (28 percent)
Top two complaints of women:
- That baggage thing (35 percent)
- Not having a clue where to meet men, and meeting too few new men (23 percent)
Some are lonely
According to the AARP Singles Survey, almost half (43%) of singles have not had a date in the last year. Almost one in seven singles that aren't dating say they'd start right now–if they could meet the right person.
There's a one-word explanation for such abundant aloneness: divorce. As recently as 25 years ago, when someone over 50 was on the prowl, most people assumed that the person was widowed. But that's changed radically; today, a solo person in his or her 50s is far more likely to be divorced than widowed. About 15.4 percent of all Americans in their 50s are divorced, while 6.2 percent have never been married. Only 4.4 percent are widowed.
More Findings:
Getting to know you…
- Only 21 percent of men and 2 percent of women in their 40s and 50s say sex is acceptable on the first date
- Overeager guys who want to get real serious real fast (21 percent)
- Women want to get too serious too fast (18 percent)
Daters in their 40s are most likely to…
- Have a high level of stress
- Say other people's excess baggage is a big dating annoyance
Those in their 50s are most likely to…
- Rate sexual compatibility as a critical factor in choosing a partner, yet 39 percent of men and 61 percent of women in their 50s had not made love once in the last six months; 40-somethings barely had more; 46 percent of each gender also didn't have sex in the last six months.
Those in their 60s are most likely to…
- Be happier than other singles
The survey was conducted among singles ages 40-69 during June 2003 by Knowledge Networks, using its web-enabled consumer research panel, a randomly recruited and nationally representative sample of U.S. population. A benefit of this methodology is that it affords more privacy for respondents, compared to a telephone survey, when the study has sensitive questions.
A total of 3,500 40-69 year old singles responded to the survey in June 2003. The margin of sampling error for this sample size is plus or minus 2.4 percentage points at the 95% level of confidence.
AARP is a nonprofit, nonpartisan membership organization dedicated to making life better for people 50 and over. We provide information and resources; engage in legislative, regulatory and legal advocacy; assist members in serving their communities; and offer a wide range of unique benefits, special products, and services for our members. These include AARP The Magazine, published bimonthly; AARP Bulletin, our monthly newspaper; Segunda Juventud, our quarterly newspaper in Spanish; NRTA Live and Learn, our quarterly newsletter for 50+ educators; and our Web site, www.aarp.org. We have staffed offices in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, and the U.S. Virgin Islands.