Relief is Available for Family Caregivers
By: Source: AARP.org Date Posted: 2003-12-31 13:03:00-05:00
By Anne-Marie Harold
Retired Union Pacific locomotive engineer Joe Croco long ago traded tending engines for taking care of his 93-year-old wife, Agnes. Caring for Agnes, who is completely blind and in poor health, became increasingly difficult this year as his own sight began to deteriorate.
“The pressure was getting to a point I couldn’t stand,” explained Joe, 86. “Being the only caregiver, I never got a break.”
Looking for help, Joe contacted the Cheyenne office of Wyoming Senior Citizens, Inc., one of 23 organizations providing family caregiver services, including respite care, through a grant from the Wyoming Department of Health Aging Division. Local coordinator Nita Stephenson suggested the Family Caregiver Respite Program, a service that provides relief on a temporary, intermittent or emergency basis, enabling caregivers to simply take a break. At first, the idea of this type of assistance felt uncomfortable to the Crocos.
“The things I did for Agnes … she didn’t feel anybody [else] could do for her,” Joe said. That was before they met their new respite care provider, 70-year-old Lillian Benson.
“Agnes can be a might crotchety. Lillian fixes Agnes’s wonderful hair.” With a wink, Joe added, “She makes Agnes a very appetizing gal. And she makes her laugh. I haven’t said anything to Agnes to make her laugh in years.”
Six years ago, Lillian became a respite care provider after caring for her own father and sister.
“Because I’d worked with my own family, I knew the needs. [As a caregiver] you feel isolated, bogged down,” Lillian said. Simple chores, such as paying the bills or grocery shopping, become a question of picking the lesser of two evils—leave your loved one alone or endure the difficulty of including them, she explained. Before Lillian’s arrival, Joe faced just such a dilemma.
“Agnes knows I like to see the boys and hear a story, have a little conversation over a cup of coffee. But Agnes has a fear of being alone,” Joe said. By agreeing to come in a few hours earlier each Friday, Lillian solved the problem.
“He had planned to give that up, but I said 'No, Joe, you need that,’” Lillian said. And while Joe is still tired these days, he often takes advantage of the opportunity for a catnap when Lillian arrives.
“I'd have to go a long way before I could find someone I could leave Agnes alone with. I trust Lillian. Agnes trusts Lillian,” Joe explained. “Respite care—it’s the difference between night and day.”
“Just the sense of being able to get away and not be stressed about her, knowing that I will take good care of her and see to her needs, is a relief,” Lillian said.
Information on respite care services and other services for caregivers, such as classes and support groups, are available online from the Wyoming Department of Health Aging Division or at 1-800-442-2766 and from AARP or at 1-888-OUR-AARP (1-888-687-2277).
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Other Resources
- Respite Care Services in Sheridan
- Senior Resource Roundup
- Wyoming Department of Health Aging Division
with information on the National Family Caregivers Program - Wyoming Resource Guide for Older Citizens
- Wyoming Senior Citizens, Inc.
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