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Ready for More Than a Kiss

After several months of dating, a healthy relationship should progress to greater intimacy

Q: I'm 50 and have been seeing a 59-year-old man for almost 4 months. We kiss at the end of the evening — and it's very nice kissing — but never go any further. I'm ready and willing for more intimacy, but he doesn't make a move — and doesn't give any signals that indicate he'd like me to initiate things. How should I handle this?

See also: Dating after 50

A:  You need to talk to him. It is unusual for a grown man to only want to kiss you after four months of going out. There should at least be a little more passion going on before the end of the evening! So you need to see what he wants out of this relationship. My own guess is its one of three things:

1. He just thinks of you as a friend.

2. He thinks of you as a date, but he doesn't want to get beyond that level of a relationship.

3. He is very attracted but extremely cautious because of past experience or because he is still attached to someone else even if they are not attached to him.

Obviously whichever explanation is true makes a big difference in how you should put him in your emotions and in your life.  But you can't just guess at it. You need to take the issue on and talk to him now.