The Digital Lifeline
Tech can help older people feel more connected
STAYING CONNECTED through technology may seem like second nature for younger generations. But while the kids scroll and swipe their way through constant connection, many older adults are experiencing something different: loneliness. One in 3 adults ages 50 to 80 report feeling isolated, according to the 2023 National Poll on Healthy Aging. And that can have health implications. Social isolation is linked to a 50 percent increased risk of dementia as well as higher risks of heart disease and stroke. “A lot of research finds that loneliness is related to how long we live,” says Ashwin Kotwal, a physician and associate professor of medicine in the Division of Geriatrics at UC San Francisco.
Technology can offer surprisingly powerful ways to maintain and even grow relationships. In fact, 76 percent of adults over 50 rely on tech to keep in touch with loved ones. Here are some ways technology can help combat loneliness.
● Connect through online communities and forums Seventy-four percent of adults age 50 and up use social media, according to AARP research released this year—and in many cases, the platforms help them meet people beyond their “friends” list.
After divorcing at age 60 and moving home to Louisville, Kentucky, Lisa Marcellino needed to rebuild her social group. Then she joined The Ethel Circle (facebook.com/groups/theethelcircle), a private AARP Facebook group for women interested in healthy aging. “It’s amazing to me how many people find comfort there,” Marcellino says. “A lot of people are really inspirational and send positive vibes across the feed.” This experience has led her to make connections IRL (in real life). Ethel participants in Louisville organize monthly lunches and occasional weekend group getaways. They also invite each other to birthday parties. “It was a great introduction online,” Marcellino says, “but being able to hug the girls has been the most important.”
● Try audio messages instead of text Texting is an effective way to stay in touch with people, but it can feel impersonal. Audio messages—short audio clips sent via messaging apps—can provide a more human touch. Send an audio message by tapping the microphone icon in your message app. Then talk and send. The recipient clicks on the message to listen. Tracy Maurer, a 57-year-old from Castro Valley, California, sends audio messages via Facebook Messenger. “I get comments from people saying, ‘It’s so great to hear your voice, enthusiasm and emotion,’ ” she says.
● Play games with friends Video games, particularly those on phones, have soared in popularity for older adults, with more than 50 million older gamers in the United States. Many mobile phone games are social too, with in-game messaging or competition between distant competitors. That includes Words with Friends, where players compete in Scrabble-like games against friends or others online. Bridge Base Online is a popular app for playing bridge. And Duolingo is a language-learning app where you can see friends’ progress and compete for rewards.
● Set a date for a video call During the pandemic, William Silveira, a 58-year-old from San Francisco, began weekly Zoom calls with nine members of his family. They continue to meet virtually every Wednesday to catch up on each other’s lives, share new recipes and talk about TV shows. “One of my siblings has mobility issues, so the weekly calls have become their primary source of connecting,” Silveira says. Services like FaceTime, Zoom and Google Meet offer simple ways to see the people you care about.
● Join a watch party With the right tools, watching TV can be a shared long-distance experience. Watch parties—where people view the same movie or show in sync and chat about it—are popular. Some streaming platforms offer the feature to subscribers, or try a third-party service like Teleparty, Rave or Scener.
BE SURE TO USE SOME CAUTION
✷ To protect yourself from scammers and other criminals, approach online interactions cautiously. Be alert if a new connection quickly over-relates to you, showers you with flattery or professes love. “If there is discussion of financial support, money or cryptocurrency, it means stop,” says Amy Nofziger, director of fraud victim support for AARP’s Fraud Watch Network. Never share sensitive information like passwords or other account info. Also, be wary if someone suggests moving the conversation to another platform; they may be trying to avoid moderation and reporting tools. If you decide to meet someone, opt for a public place or a group outing, Nofziger says. And there’s no shame in cutting off a conversation or skipping a meetup that feels off. “It’s better to be skeptical than to lose your money,” she says.
Lexi Pandell is a contributing writer who covers technology. Her work has appeared in Wired, The New York Times, The Atlantic and other publications.