Real People/The Joy Boys
‘We Get Lots of Hugs’
Five gay friends took to social media to spread love and wisdom to young and old alike
The gents, from left: Joc, Bill, Jessay, Robert, Mick
ROBERT REEVES: Bill and I first met back in the 1980s in San Francisco. And then years later, after I’d moved to Palm Springs, he appeared here in the desert. He, my friend Mick and I would host a lot of dinners at my house. In 2018, a young friend asked if he could video us because our conversations were so much fun.
Mick Peterson: Gen Zers and millennials have a fascination about people our age. They want to know everything about us. Families are so dispersed now, and I think young people feel that the most.
Bill Lyons: So he taped us trying to guess what some of the new slang words meant.
Robert: I didn’t even know what social media was! But he posted the video on YouTube, named us the “Old Gays” and it was a hit. So we kept it going. We did about 45 videos through Grindr and YouTube. Then we went on TikTok and just exploded.
Mick: We have 11 million followers on that platform now.
Jessay Martin: When I saw their very first video, I was a neighbor, ecstatic about what these guys were doing. Then they asked me to join them.
Joc Anderson: I’m a good friend of Jessay’s, and he eventually got me involved. We’re just trying to show the world it’s OK to get old—that these years can be some of your best.
Mick: We dress up in costumes and do silly dance videos. And we do one-offs, like posting then-and-now photos or our first crushes. We also have a podcast, and we published a book with advice on life and aging.
Robert: One time we dressed up as different kinds of eggs, like scrambled and deviled, and went downtown to hand out plastic eggs.
Jessay: I was never more uncomfortable in my life! It was definitely one of those “OK, just do it” moments. But what we do makes people laugh, brings them joy. And we get lots of hugs.
Joc: I came out late in life—at 37—and I thought I was fully out of the closet. But when I met these guys and started appearing in the videos, I was really out.
Mick: Amazingly, our biggest audience is women under 35.
Bill: I heard that and wondered if it was really true. And then we did a meet and greet, and there were 200 young ladies in the audience. Young people know we’ve been through some rough times, like the AIDS epidemic, and they really want to hear about our experiences.
Robert: I’ve been HIV-positive since the late ’80s. I lost my entire circle of friends. That’s one of the reasons I moved to the desert. I found this to be a kind of rejuvenating experience.
Mick: I’m HIV-positive too. So many of my friends passed away. The millennials call it the Dark Age, but I think of it as a time of liberation—a time we stood up for ourselves. And that spirit is what we’re trying to pass along. We also have a message for our own generation: If you want to live a long life, get up and move. And connect with people. You’re never alone if you reach out.
Joc: There are days when your mind says go, but your body is aching. Having that social support helps gets you going—and it’s joyful once you’re out there. —As told to Bridgette Reilly
Robert Reeves, 82, is a sculptor. Mick Peterson, 69, is a retired actor. Bill Lyons, 81, is a retired general manager for a design showroom. Jessay Martin, 72, is a singer and part-time florist. Joc Anderson, 76, is a retired psychologist. All the men live in Cathedral City, California. Their book, The Old Gays Guide to the Good Life, was published in 2023.