MY FIRST TIME ...

BEING THE OLDEST AMONG WORK FRIENDS

AT THE AGE of 53, I generally feel 35 on the inside. But I recently realized I am the oldest person on my team at the Northern California elementary school where I’m a teaching assistant.

I didn’t notice at first. Conversations flow naturally; we respect and support each other; we work hard and have great talks at happy hour.

Gradually, though, I learned bits about the others’ personal lives. Everyone is married. They have first graders, 4-year-olds and newborns. One sub talked about navigating the post-college dating scene.

Meanwhile, I’m divorcing after 20-plus years of marriage and have two high schoolers. Once a month, I get my gray roots touched up. My hip hurts when I’ve been sitting too long.

But despite the age gap, I’ve learned we have many similarities. My youngest coworker, Hannah, and I are both semi-recent transplants to the region and have mixed-race families.

Another teacher talked about how daily kid activities impact her schedule. I get it. I’ve been Mom Ubering for 16 years, and the grind can be exhausting.

Before, my work friends were always around my age. But friendship is about more than sharing a life stage. It’s about finding common ground, wherever you’re planted. —Maisy Fernandez

“Before Rob Reiner passed away, I would think about him two or three times a day. He made me realize I needed to be on a movie set. That’s where my comfort zone was. I didn’t fit in anywhere else. Now I think about Rob 50 times a day.”

—Jerry O’Connell, 52, who costarred in the late director’s 1986 film, Stand by Me

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