A recent caller to the AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline (who asked not to be named) met someone on a friendship app who seemed to share a lot of interests. When the new “friend” claimed to be locked out of his bank account, he asked for a loan via Cash App. He promised to repay the money but never did. She ended up losing $10,000.

Another caller met someone while playing online video games. When they asked for money, she agreed to help, ultimately losing over $100,000 sent via Bitcoin and gift cards.

“These are online romance scams with a twist,” Nofziger says. “Instead of pretending to fall in love, the criminals act like they share your hobbies or struggles. Whether it’s a sober support group or a Facebook group for classic car lovers, scammers are slipping into these spaces just to gain your trust and take advantage of it.”

Friendship scams are rapidly increasing among the rip-offs consumers report, according to the Better Business Bureau.

The scams follow a predictable script, says Jason Zirkle, a certified fraud examiner and training director at the Association of Certified Fraud Examiners: Scammers lurking on sites like Facebook, Instagram or Reddit initiate contact by sending direct messages or commenting on posts. They often use empathy and “mirroring”—appearing to be in the same circumstances as you—to establish deep emotional connections quickly. Eventually, conversations move to platforms that are harder to trace, such as encrypted text messaging apps like WhatsApp and Telegram. Finally, scammers invent a personal crisis to ask for financial help, often requesting money via nontraditional channels like gift cards, cryptocurrency or peer-to-peer payment apps.

Since people don’t usually question platonic relationships as much as romantic ones, scammers can be harder to spot. “The relationship building is a little bit more subtle and requires a little bit more trickery,” Zirkle says. “For that reason, I think friendship scams are more insidious than romance scams.”

Friendship scams are becoming even more insidious with the help of artificial intelligence, according to Roy Zur, cofounder and CEO of Charm Security, whose fraud protection platform uses AI to prevent scams. A male crook living overseas, for example, can use AI to pose as an older American woman who lives in the South and is a master gardener. If he meets you in a Facebook gardening group, he can use ChatGPT to translate his native tongue into perfect English, infuse his writing with Southern dialect, generate insights and observations about growing flowers and vegetables suited to Southern climates, and even fabricate real-looking images of his female alter ego working on rosebushes.

“It makes it feel much, much more real,” Zur says. “And it makes it much easier to do this type of crime in the first place.”

The risk of scams shouldn’t scare people out of digital relationships, experts say. Just keep these tips in mind to build online connections safely, says Iskander Sanchez-Rola, director of AI and innovation at Gen, which owns cybersecurity brands Norton, Avast and LifeLock.

▶︎ Be skeptical of sudden closeness. Scammers want to build rapport fast. So when a new connection gets intimate soon after you meet them, proceed with caution.

▶︎ Beware of secrecy and evasion. If online friends want you to keep your relationship secret, or if they avoid speaking on the phone, having a video chat or meeting you in person, they may be hiding something.

▶︎ Don’t send money. Eventually, inevitably, scammers always ask for money. If someone you’ve never met in person solicits you for cash, that’s a red flag—and a red light. Requests that are urgent or involve nontraditional payment methods like gift cards or crypto are especially suspicious.

▶︎ Seek a second opinion. If something about a new friendship feels off, consider confiding in a trusted friend or family member to get a fresh perspective. There also are tools you can use to sniff out scammers. Norton Genie,* AI Scam Detective and ScamSniper all use AI to detect likely scams by analyzing text messages, social media posts, emails and websites