“I want to be alone,” says the retired travel agent, a widow for 19 years. “I like my own company.” Recent health issues have challenged her independence—but not completely. She stopped driving this year, but she did renew her driver’s license.

Kirschenbaum’s story is unique, and yet she represents a growing trend in America of people from different backgrounds and circumstances who are aging solo.

Twenty-one percent of U.S. adults age 50 and older—that’s 24 million people—now live alone, without a spouse or partner or anyone else under the same roof. And their numbers are growing fast.

This extraordinary upswing in aging alone is unprecedented, says Elena Portacolone, a professor of sociology at the Institute for Health & Aging at the University of California, San Francisco. “It’s a reality check that times have changed. For many, it’s about living your own life, following what is important to you. But our social supports have not kept up with the needs of those aging alone.”

In 1950, just 9 percent of all U.S. adults lived by themselves. Now 1 in 5 Americans ages 50 to 54, about 1 in 3 ages 55 to 74 and half of those age 75-plus are aging on their own, according to U.S. Census data. By 2038, the majority of people age 80 and older—about 10 million—will be solo agers, Harvard University experts estimate.

Fueling this phenomenon are big changes in how Americans live, love and age, says Portacolone. These include lower marriage rates, more gray divorces and marital separations, greater longevity and less poverty, along with older adults’ desire to age in place, an increase in childlessness and smaller, more far-flung families. There’s a gender gap among solo agers, too. In 2023, 1 in 3 older women and about 1 in 5 older men lived alone, according to federal government statistics. Women live longer but are also more likely to stay single after being divorced or widowed. A 2022 study from Bowling Green State University found that men 55 and older are more than twice as likely as women to remarry—and other research suggests they’re choosing younger spouses.

Despite their numbers, solo agers are often misunderstood and even invisible. “Older adults who live alone are generally healthier, more cognitively capable and more socially connected than the broad group of older people living with their spouse or adult children—because they have to be,” says Dr. Sachin J. Shah, an assistant professor at Harvard Medical School. “The other side of the coin is, they’re more vulnerable when anything happens because they don’t always have the support of others.”

Until recently, “our knowledge of the experience of older adults living alone has been limited,” says Portacolone, the author of groundbreaking research about solo agers with cognitive decline and dementia. And while some receive support from relatives, friends and neighbors, she says that many solo agers with thinking and memory problems are virtually invisible. “Few people even know they exist,” Portacolone says.

So who are today’s solo agers? To find out, AARP interviewed dozens of solo agers and the experts now studying and assisting them. AARP also surveyed 503 solo agers from across the U.S. about their feelings and experiences. What we found defies stereotypes, reveals surprising strengths and uncovers some can’t-be-ignored challenges. What follows are five insights into the lives of this growing group.

AARP’s survey tapped into the full diversity of America’s solo agers. Participants were never-married, divorced, separated or widowed; ages 50 to 95; lived in cities, suburbs and rural areas; were racially and ethnically diverse; and had annual incomes ranging from less than $30,000 to more than $100,000. Forty percent had lived alone for 20 years or longer. One thing most agreed on: Living on your own can be exhilarating and deeply satisfying. “Oh, the freedom!” says Gayle Kirschenbaum, 70, a never-married, Emmy Award–winning filmmaker (and daughter of Mildred Kirschenbaum) from New York City. “I have flying dreams. They’re a metaphor for life. I don’t want anyone to hold me down.”

Heather Nawrocki, vice president of experiences and connections at AARP, says, “There can be a lot of joy in aging solo. Feeling the freedom to choose their own path, solo agers are the captains of their own ship. They can pursue their own interests. There’s a lot of positivity.”

The best parts of solo aging? For 1 in 3 survey respondents, it’s freedom and autonomy; 16 percent said the best part is independence. “Solitude is blissful,” wrote one participant. “I can do what I want when I want,” noted another. “I can put my own needs first,” said yet another. They enjoyed small acts of independence, such as “I don’t have to share the [TV] remote,” “Drinking out of the orange juice container” and “No one to clean up after.”

And they’re savoring their accomplishments. This spring, Lester Shane, 73, directed the classic American play Picnic at the Sands College of Performing Arts at Pace University in New York City, where he’s a voice, speech and dialect coach. “I think the great advantage of solo aging is you answer to no one,” says Shane, who lived with a partner at one time and has dated on and off since then. “There’s great freedom in that.”

When H. Shellae Versey, an associate professor of psychology at Fordham University, tracked 890 African American female solo agers as part of a larger 2025 study, she and her coauthor found that these solo women were less likely to feel lonely than women in the general population with partners—and both groups gave their health similar ratings. “People still have the idea that getting older means being lonely, and that solo living would be associated with worse health, perhaps especially for Black women,” Versey says. “But if you’re still working, or you’re going to a bridge group or the local library or community garden, if you’re seeing people you know at the coffee shop and the grocery store, that’s very different from being isolated with nobody checking on you.”

Making time for social connections was a priority for many of AARP’s survey respondents. Sixty-three percent said spending time with friends brings them joy, and 51 percent said their social life is excellent or good. Women prioritized these social connections more than men did. “Of the top things for living a long life, number one is camaraderie with other people your age,” says Vicki Ivey, 83, a solo ager from Cheyenne, Wyoming, whose husband died in 2014. “Good friendships, laughing and doing activities together are so important.”

Two in 5 solo agers in AARP’s survey said loneliness and isolation were the worst parts of aging alone. Few were looking for romance, with women even less interested than men. “I don’t want to date,” Mildred Kirschenbaum says. “A man needs someone in his life. A woman is more self-sufficient. She spends her life taking care of others, even if she works.”

Another recent national survey found just 27 percent of single older women and 43 percent of single older men are interested in dating. And dating apps? Forget it. Just 5 percent of adults in their 50s and 2 percent age 60 and older had used one in the past year, according to a 2023 Pew Research Center survey.

“I tried four different dating apps,” says Ruben Lopez Jr., 70, a solo ager living in Meridian, Idaho. “I always set my age group to at least 55 or higher, and to local searches only, but I was always getting likes from women in their 20s and 30s in other states. Almost every one looked like a fake account.”

In contrast, 57 percent of solo agers turn to friends for support and guidance. “You never know when you help people just by being there and listening,” says Bernard Dailey, 77, a retired chemical engineer from Cheyenne, Wyoming, and a widower since 2021. He attends a local widows-and-widowers group on Tuesdays, is a member of a men’s bereavement group and recently joined the Audubon Society “just to try to get out more.” Dailey has coffee with friends on Friday afternoons and breakfast with another friend Tuesday mornings. “Just laughing together, getting out of yourself a little and being social sometimes is all you need,” he says.

One in 4 AARP survey respondents found joy in volunteer work, and 1 in 5 are involved in their communities. Solo ager James Ravenell, 72, of Orlando, Florida, has been calling older adults, many of whom are solo agers, three mornings a week since 2014 for the Red Cross of Central Florida’s Dial-A-Friend program. “I check on necessary things like their medication. If it’s cold out, I ask if their heat is functioning,” says Ravenell, a Navy veteran and retired maintenance worker. “If there’s a problem or I can’t reach them, I note it down and call someone, like a son or daughter, to go out and check on them. It’s a pleasure. They inspire me.”

Since 2015, Evelyne Michaud, 68, a solo ager living in Westchester County, New York, has been checking in on older solo agers through DOROT USA, a social service organization based in New York City that aims to ease social isolation for older adults. “I don’t consider it work,” she says. “The pleasure you have connecting and becoming friends is rich and valuable. We have conversations about everything.”

Solo aging has its challenges, too. AARP survey participants missed having someone around to help with “opening jars,” “household repairs,” “climbing a ladder” and yard work. Participants worried about being alone with an illness or injury. “In case of emergency, no one is there,” one said. “Afraid of a fall,” said another. “If you got sick, [there’s] no one to provide help,” said yet another.

One of Lester Shane’s top concerns for the future is the three flights of steps up to the rent-stabilized studio apartment he has occupied since 1973. There’s no elevator. “I just had a serious bout of sciatica,” Shane says. “Getting up and down stairs, carrying groceries, was difficult. I think about what I would do in the future if I can’t get around easily.”

Without a strong network of family, friends, neighbors and other caregivers, solo agers can face increasing difficulties, says Jane Lowers, an assistant professor in the Department of Family and Preventive Medicine at the Emory University School of Medicine.

“People aging solo are less likely to get all their care needs met as they get older, whether it’s help with transportation, household chores, basic health needs or mobility,” Lowers says. “Those little needs can stack up. If you can’t get to the doctor, medical conditions or even vision or hearing problems may go undiagnosed.”

In a 2021 UC San Francisco study of 4,772 solo agers, 38 percent couldn’t identify friends, family or neighbors to help them with daily needs. When a major health shock like a heart attack, stroke or cancer diagnosis arose, they were more likely to end up in a nursing home for a prolonged stay. “No one wants to think they’ll get sick and need help, but it’s an inevitability,” says lead researcher Shah. “To continue living independently, building social support can make a big difference.”

Kathryn Martin, 74, of Kannapolis, North Carolina, has been a solo ager since the death of her husband eight years ago. She has a seizure disorder and used to call 911 every time she felt a seizure coming on. “I would lie on the floor until they arrived,” says the retired textile mill worker. At $700 to $900 per ambulance trip, her medical debts skyrocketed. And she was developing memory problems.

A few years ago, Elder Orphan Care, a faith-based organization that aims to support older adults living alone, heard about Martin’s situation and offered help. Martin was matched with a volunteer “buddy,” Sandy Poling, 75, who negotiated payment plans with the ambulance companies, then worked with others from the organization to help Martin sell her childhood home and move into an assisted living center. Elder Orphan Care currently assists 35 “elder orphans” and plans to expand to 75 by the end of 2026. “We’re really big on relationships,” says Janna Syester, director of community programs. “Elder orphans are often invisible. There are a lot of people nobody knows are out there.”

Family may be estranged or live far away, she says. Friends may have died or have their own health issues, and neighbors may not realize the extent of their needs—or rarely see them outside their home.

One big and often unseen need: Like Martin, an estimated 4 million U.S. solo agers have cognitive impairment, Alzheimer’s disease or dementia, says Portacolone. “Many lack an advocate who can help them go to medical appointments and manage their medication and daily lives,” she says.

Survey takers also felt the pinch of financial worries. More than half of 50- to 64-year-olds described their financial situation as fair to poor, as did nearly 40 percent of those 65 and older. Among their concerns: “financial security,” “paying all the bills” and “worrying that I will run out of money.” Without a partner’s income and assets, 63 percent of older adults in poverty in 2021 were solo agers, according to the U.S. Census. Since they don’t share the costs of housing and utilities with a partner, solo agers are twice as likely to say their money doesn’t stretch to cover basic needs.

In a 2023 Mather Institute survey, fewer than half of solo agers had set up a financial plan, designated a health care advocate or established a power of attorney. Compared with married people, solo agers were half as likely to have talked with anyone about financial planning, a 2016 Northwestern Mutual survey found. “Solos don’t see themselves as the people being served by financial planners—TV commercials are all about saving for college and weddings and leaving your children a legacy,” says Allen Davis, a financial planner in Hadley, Massachusetts, who puts out a newsletter for solo agers and is finishing a forthcoming book with coauthor Mary Young to be called Financial Planning for Solo Agers: Manage the Six Hazards and Thrive. “They may be afraid—and don’t have a partner to nudge them,” Davis adds.

Without the built-in safety net of a loved one in the house or nearby, tackling the challenges of aging can be especially risky for solo agers with small incomes, says Paul Downey, the recently retired CEO of Serving Seniors in San Diego, California. “We have 13,000 clients. More and more live alone,” Downey says. “We see people who did everything right—they worked and saved, but something happens. Sometimes an illness comes along and uses up their life savings. Or their spouse has an illness, then dies or moves into a skilled nursing facility. Their partner is alone in a housing crisis that could lead to homelessness.”

It happened to John Conroy, 67, of San Diego. Despite a long-held hospital job, his retirement savings ran out and a legal dispute over a town house left him homeless for a year. During that time, he slept in parks and abandoned buildings. Through Serving Seniors and other social service agencies, he got a permanent place to live in July 2023. “It’s wonderful for me,” he says. “Like heaven.”

A long, independent life can pose challenges for the most resilient of solo agers. Mildred Kirschenbaum enjoyed decades of travel and, at age 101, a book tour. “If you’re up there in years, do yourself a favor,” she says. “Enjoy yourself. Don’t sit home.” But last spring, a bad case of the flu and a fall in her home left her homebound. Her daughter moved in with her.

In spirit, however, Mildred is still a contented solo ager. “Don’t be afraid of life,” she says. “No matter how old you are, there’s always something to learn.”