BY JOHN FICARRA

1. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to stay on this side of the room”

2. “Are you the plaintiff or the defendant? I always get those two mixed up”

3. “I see more of you than I do my wife”

4. “Lowest score in the history of the school district”

5. “How critical is hot water anyway?”

6. “Would you consider selling a kidney?”

7. “I’ve had two clients die on this machine, so be careful”

8. “Permits. Schpermits. Who needs screws when you have duct tape?”

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