Lauren: My mom’s condition really advanced in 2008, when suddenly I had a [smartphone] camera with me. She was slamming doors and screaming at nothing. It was this mind-blowing moment of “This person is so far from who my mom was.” It was scary and unnerving, and I felt so alone. And I just was like, “I’ve got to film this.” If people knew that this was the reality, it wouldn’t be whispered about. Everyone would be taking action.

Seth: Yeah, I think people probably are confused at first that I’m speaking about this in any way, shape or form. But I also think the type of comedy I’ve done and the type of movies I’ve made have been based on my real life and the things I’m experiencing. We made a movie, 50/50, about my 25-year-old horny friend having cancer that he survived.

Lauren: I’d say it’s society’s fault that my mom wanted to keep it a secret. She had seen both of her parents go through it, and she was diagnosed only four years after my grandmother passed away. I can only imagine how terrifying that was for her. She wanted to maintain her independence as much as she could, until she couldn’t. I understand why she wanted to keep it a secret, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t really hard for me to keep it a secret.

Seth: Honestly, I had never been in a serious relationship of any type before, so I had nothing to compare it against. I felt very bad for her. I could support her and love her, but I couldn’t actually untangle how to address any of these problems. I implored Lauren to go to therapy. Some people come from families where they don’t like to delve deep. My family can’t wait to indulge in the emotional darkness.

Lauren: I wasn’t like “No, I won’t go to therapy.” I was like, “I feel terrible. I’ll do anything to feel better.”

Seth: Because of how hard it is, we were like, “This will kill him. He will drop dead trying to lift Lauren’s mother from one chair to another one day.”

Lauren: We were like, “This is not sustainable. You’ve got to move to California [from Florida] and we can be close.” And that’s what they did.

Lauren: Life seems to be highs and lows. And that was that weekend. I truly hate that that happened and that’s part of my dad’s memory of our wedding weekend. But that’s life, and we’ve turned a lot of that pain into good. That was a learning experience, and then we moved on.

Seth: It depends which movie—either several, or one fraction of one. It’s hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to give someone good, 24-hour-a-day in-home care. And it’s not giving you anything other than some slight sense of normalcy. It’s not like you’re working toward a cure. It’s not treatment.

Lauren: Hopefully, as time goes on, our country will understand how to support caregivers. You should be able to make a choice of how you care for your loved one, whether in your home or in one that is professionally run.

Lauren: There are times I can watch the film, and it’s like, “Oh this is a powerful documentary with a lot of information.” And there are other times I watch it and I’m like, “This was the darkest time in my life.” Seeing my mom and what this disease did to her is always imprinted on my mind. But like any type of grief, it’s more present sometimes and less other times. —Interview by Joel Stein