Your Life
THE SANTA WHO SIGNS
Deaf educator Charles Graves turned a sad childhood memory into a joyous Christmas calling
It all began with an awkward encounter. When he was 5, Charles Graves watched his siblings telling a department-store Santa what they wanted for Christmas. The children’s excitement was obvious, and Graves could see the Santa’s smile as he listened to each child’s wishes. But when it was Graves’s turn, the Santa just looked at him, paused, handed him a small gift, and moved on to the next child. “I was the only Deaf person in the room,” recalls Graves, now 54, “and for the first time, I felt alone.”
For years after that, Graves kept his distance from Santas. But in 2019, after the New Braunfels, Texas, resident grew a long, white beard, people began telling him, “You look just like Santa Claus!” One person who saw his photo on social media and learned he was Deaf invited Graves to be Santa Claus at an event for Deaf children.
At first, he hesitated. But his wife, Kari, encouraged him to give it a try, suggesting he could make the experience more welcoming for the children than it had been for him. Nervously, Graves agreed to do the event, and he was hooked.
“Seeing their faces light up as they realized I understood them through American Sign Language was a joy I’ll never forget,” says Graves, who works as a night residential educator at the Texas School for the Deaf in Austin. “Their little hands flew so fast, sharing their wish lists and asking questions like ‘Is your beard real?’ and ‘Where are your reindeer?’ ” His answers—“Yes,” and “Somewhere nearby!”—added to their excitement, he says.
Graves continued to make appearances, and at one event in Austin, he met Anthony Mowl, who has a Deaf child. Mowl is a creative professional, and together the two began working to bring Deaf Santa Claus to even more kids. They raised money so Graves could attend the International University of Santa Claus—where Santas learn the tricks of the trade—with ASL interpreters on hand to help him interact with teachers and other students. Lessons at Santa school included how to pose for photos and how to respond when kids ask tricky questions such as, “Can you keep my parents from getting divorced?” (The answer is that Santa’s magic is limited to toys.)
Now Graves works with companies that make it possible for him to embody Santa for children and families at events around the country. Not all of the children who use ASL are Deaf. Some have Deaf parents; others sign because of disabilities such as autism. But why-ever they want to see him, Graves says he’s honored to connect with each child in a way that feels natural for them. He knows he’s making a core memory that may last their entire life. And for Deaf parents of hearing children, his conversation with a child may be the first time the parent is able to eavesdrop and find out what the child really wants for Christmas. “It’s deeply moving,” Graves says. “At the end of an event, when I return to my hotel, I sometimes find myself shedding a few happy tears.”
Becoming Santa Claus is not an act for Graves, he says: It’s a true part of who he is. “As Deaf Santa, I feel fully seen and accepted, and the children do too,” he explains. “It’s a reminder that each of us can embrace the magic [of the holiday season] in our own way, and be loved for exactly who we are.”
Andrea Atkins is a writer in Rye, New York, whose work appears regularly in national publications.
Could You Ho Ho Handle It?
Anyone can put on a red suit, but to really become Kris Kringle takes care and effort. Leading Santa educators share these tips.
▶︎ Feel the love: Grumpy Santas don’t cut it, says Santa Rick, aka Rick Rosenthal, who runs Northern Lights Santa Academy in Atlanta, the second-biggest Santa school in the nation. To rate as a Santa, you must love yourself and others.
▶︎ Don’t cut corners: “Wear real black boots, not toppers; a real leather belt, not a vinyl one; and a real red suit, not a ‘costume,’ ” counsels Santa Ed Taylor, who runs the Worldwide Santa Claus Network.
▶︎ Mind the beard: If you have a full white beard, you’re halfway there. Many Santas bleach, comb, and make regular salon visits to keep it silky soft. Some Santas use high-end “traditional beards” or “professional beards,” which can cost $1,500 or more.
▶︎ Keep it tidy: Little kids have keen vision, so make sure to trim any stray nose or ear hair. Avoid strong colognes as well.
▶︎ Laugh for real: “You don’t want to say the syllables, ‘Ho ho ho,’ ” says Santa Ed. “We want the ho hos to be part of your natural laugh.” —A.A.