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6 Tips for Taking a Fabulous — and Realistic — Online Dating Photo When You’re 50+

Plus, how to identify a fake or very altered photo


spinner image gif of a woman's online profile picture that is changing
Eglė Plytnikaitė

As an older adult, when you make the decision to join a dating app after a divorce or losing a longtime partner, you’ll want to put your best self forward.

But before you ask your grandkids (the photo experts these days) to touch up or use a filter on your photo, keep in mind that it’s a fine line between the best version of yourself and someone you’re not.

“When you meet someone and they’re not at all like their photo, you feel like you’ve been deceived in some way, and that’s no way to start a relationship,” says Rachel DeAlto, chief connection officer for Match Group, one of the largest and oldest dating platforms.

Ready to say cheese with the real you? Here’s how older adults can have great, realistic photos for their dating profile.

Use recent photos — wrinkles included

Being honest in photos means using current photos that show how you look today, DeAlto says. She advises using photos taken within the last couple of years — or more recently if your appearance has changed drastically — for all online pics.

“The idea of the photo feeling authentic is very important,” says photographer Christopher Todd of Christopher Todd Studios in Orange County, California.

Use indirect sunlight for younger looking skin

Instead of using filters when taking photos, use better lighting. Avoid facing the sun, which causes most people to squint, emphasizing wrinkles around the eyes, Todd says. Go for big, indirect sunlight that makes skin look warmer.

Video: 4 Ways to Take Your Best Selfie

“Having a big light source from a huge window or [standing] in a covered walkway, where you’re in the shade but light is coming from all around you, is your best bet for younger looking skin,” Todd says, adding that the light wraps around your wrinkles and lights up your face. “You will look oldest when you have a single or smaller light source to your side,” he says.

Save your biggest smile for another time

While smiles are recommended for photos, big, toothy ones can emphasize crow’s feet around the eyes. On Facebook, photographer Renata Cesar suggests a slightly more relaxed smile.

Skip the double chin with a little posing and good posture

If you have a double chin or jowls, push your chin forward, but not up, and pull your shoulders back to tighten the skin on the neck . Cesar calls it “the peach technique” —imagine you’re holding a peach below your chin, which creates more distance from your neck .

Taking photographs from slightly above with the light also coming from above will help thin a double chin and the entire body because your head appears closer to the camera, according to photographer Joe Edelman’s website.

Whatever you do, don’t turn your face to the side, Todd says, because that will emphasize the profile of a double chin. You can turn your body to the side but keep your face looking straight at the camera.

It’s OK to skip your hands in the photo

If you’re worried about aging hands, consider hiding one or both in photos. “A good way to avoid emphasizing your hands is putting one in your pocket or just not having them in the photo,” Todd says.

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If you do use retouching, avoid turning yourself into Barbie or Ken

Todd says just because you can, doesn’t mean you should ­ — and you should resist the exaggerated facial features.

If you plan to retouch pics, keep it “under the radar,” Todd advises. “You don’t want to make your lips huge because it won’t look real. You don’t want to tweak your eyes too much or make your skin so soft that you look like a Barbie doll. It should not be the first thing you notice in a photo.”

How to identify other altered photos

A fake image can be a red flag. Here’s how to identify one, says Todd:

  • Exaggerated body shapes, such as eyes or lips that appear too large or other oddly proportioned body parts.
  • Eyes that appear too bright or whites of the eye are too white.
  • Oversaturated colors.
  • An older adult without wrinkles.
  • Blurry sections of photos.

So what is OK to fix in photographs? Only use filters or retouch photos to eliminate a blemish, brighten a picture or change the background, DeAlto advises.

Nancy Mitchell of Huntington Beach, California, paid about $1,000 to hire a professional photographer to take photos of her in two different outdoor settings that she posted on Elite Singles and Silver Singles.

The photographer edited out a strand of hair blowing across her face and a bra strap but made no drastic changes, Mitchell says. “You want to present yourself as who you really are or you’re wasting your time and the other person’s time,” she adds.

And what if you suspect someone else’s image is a little too fake?

If you think an image is fake, do a reverse image search to see if it appears on other websites or is a stock photo. Save the image to your device, then go to Google Images or Google Lens and click on the multicolored camera icon in the search bar. On some browsers you can right-click or control-click on any image on the internet, then select the option to search for the image. Mitchell says she recently received a message from a dating platform she uses that it was investigating a man’s profile.

“Some shots looked like a professional advertisement,” she says. “It turns out those shots consistently were frauds. They were stock photos with a glowing profile that no woman can resist. You contact them and they won’t meet with you because they’re not even in this country.”

And beware of possible catfishing, when people use fake or stolen photos on dating platforms to steal money or identities in a romance scam, Todd says.

The bottom line: Use common sense, DeAlto advises. “Ask yourself, ‘Does that feel accurate?’” she says. “It’s a lot of gut checks.”

Video: 4 Ways to Take Your Best Selfie

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