Here Comes the Mother of the Bride

4. Stick to the color plan

Usually  the MOB’s choice of color complements the bridesmaids' dresses — but you don't need to match. There are two feud-free choices. First choice: Stay in the same color family but go lighter, darker or brighter. For example, if they're in poppy pink, you might wear blush pink, a deep raspberry or wine shade or bold fuchsia. Second choice: Choose a shimmery neutral like champagne or silver-gray, which works with any color scheme and adds radiance to us. Tell the mother of the groom the color theme so the immediate family clicks, not clashes, in photos. And of course, avoid wearing white.

5. Do your research online

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Major department store retail sites like Nordstrom.com or Bloomingdales.com have a specific wedding shop category and carry a broad range of sizes from petite to plus, which  are  not so easy to find in small bridal specialty stores. They are good places to start evaluating looks. At-home try- ons  and returns are easy, fast and nonjudgmental (no hovering sales people!). However, you don't need to shop for actual MOB dresses. Dresses slotted for wedding guests or evening/cocktail wear also have great options.  

6. Highlight your assets, play down the rest

Be glam but comfy in fabrics that are supple and move like stretch lace, draped jersey  and  sparkly mesh. Three major MOB silhouettes that are trending now and come in every neckline and sleeve length: a midi/tea length gown that follows curves before flaring mid-thigh to hemline (thanks to wedge-shaped inserts called godets) and highlights trim ankles and fabulous shoes (no worries about tripping or dirty hems); an off-the-shoulder sheath or gown that displays your amazing shoulders and holds attention there (amazing in seated or group pics); or a knee-length sheath in stretch lace or embellished with beads shows off still-great legs. Go with your gut. You'll know that thank-goodness-the-search-is-over dress when you see it.

7. Think outside the box

Wearing a dress or gown is super, but not for all. Wedding attire has loosened up as weddings veer from beachy or country casual to a city hall and restaurant celebration or  to  offbeat venues (think mountaintops, fields  and  boats) rather than more formal affairs. Consider the venue, time, kind of wedding and any cultural or religious customs, but if you want to rock your daughter's wedding in a one-shoulder jumpsuit, an off-the-shoulder floral fit and flare dress or an embellished tunic over dressy pants and sandals — just do it. (Cross your fingers and tell her first, of course.)

8. Get your hair and makeup done

Splurge — it's your daughter's wedding! Most hair salons and blow-dry shops have an on-call or resident makeup artist. Book yours at least a month in advance, and if you can afford a trial run, do so. You want to be the best version of the real you so avoid last-minute untried suggestions like an updo or false lashes.

9. Put these musts on your get-ready list

Add extra volume, texture or highlights to take your usual hair up a notch. Make sure your face makeup does not include sunscreen — it goes chalky on film. Define your eyes more and use waterproof gel liner and mascara. Blend cream blush high on your cheeks for a healthy glow. Line and color in your lips with a lip-tone pencil before applying lipstick to help color last. Choose lipstick one shade richer or brighter than usual. A nude with pinky tones won't disappear in photos, and a vibrant red, rose or berry lip makes a statement and whitens teeth. Your choice!

10. Make a "what if" list

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Anticipate last-second problems that might affect your peace of mind and looks on the big day or days if it's an extended event with a rehearsal dinner or post-wedding brunch. Use a dryer fabric softener sheet to smooth your dry "done" hair  gone  a little frizzy from humidity, let Spanx add smooth confidence beneath your dress and stick cushioned gel inserts in your heels so you can dance and stand for hours of fun.

11. Enjoy the moment

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Listen to a mood-setting playlist of calming tunes as you get ready. Spray on your favorite fragrance head to toe and stash a mini sample of the fragrance in your clutch. Add a tissue, cotton swabs (for eye touchups) and your lip pencil and lipstick. Show up on time to help your daughter, who will be in a panic over timing and scheduling. Don't drink too much champagne. And be assured that "Mom" can still turn heads.