The Collective Exhale: Family Caregivers and the Coronavirus Vaccine

Tears of joy — and relief

Jenna McKinney, 63, of Harrison, New York, has been making the two-hour drive to see her mother in New Jersey for decades. The trips increased when her stepfather died and her mom was no longer able to live independently. Despite having a sibling nearby, the responsibilities — and the joys — of caregiving have fallen almost solely on McKinney. In the past few months, with the lockdown of her mother's facility, she made the drive just to be able to see her mother through her window, where they had a routine of placing their hands on each side of the glass. After her mother got the vaccine last week, McKinney burst into tears while relaying the story to a friend. “I don't think I fully realized how much I was walking on eggshells, praying that she wouldn't catch the virus.”

Lee Woodruff's mom, Terry McConaughy, 87, after receiving her vaccine.

Courtesy Lee Woodruff

Cheers for vaccinators

Those administering the vaccines at long-term care facilities have a unique vantage point. Bob Atighechi, 48, is a CVS pharmacist from Rocky Hill, Connecticut, who administered one of the first five vaccine shots in the country. “It was incredible to witness the immense relief, not just of the residents, but their caregivers,” he remembers. “The extreme isolation that our elderly have been enduring is hard to witness."

Emad Habash, 41, a regional CVS pharmacy director in Indianapolis, describes his first week of vaccinating as “nothing like anything I've seen in my career.” Caregivers, residents and staff greeted his team with loud cheers, applause and raised hands. One woman broke down in tears. “I'm so excited,” her husband told Habash. “We've had to be so careful with her diabetes, and now maybe we can see our family and grandkids."

Caring for each other

As a resident of Newbury Court, in Concord, Massachusetts, author Katharine Esty, 85, had a decision to make when the lockdown came: Should she cohabitate with her newish boyfriend or should they stay in their separate apartments and not be able to see each other at all. With a few hours to act, they moved some of his things into her apartment, where they could care for each other.

"Many of the spouses here are primary caregivers to their loved ones, some of whom have dementia and other issues,” she says. “I worried about my friends and tried to stay in touch by phone.” She was determined to be by her boyfriend's side when he got the vaccine, because he had experienced allergic reactions to medications in the past. “He handled it all like a champ, with no side effects,” she says. “Seeing people again was a reminder that relationships are what matter most.”

And in a final reminder that frontline health care workers wear multiple hats, Benjamin Skov, 26, a CVS pharmacist from Coventry, Rhode Island, was able to vaccinate his own grandparents at one of the clinics. When he stopped by afterward to check on them, his grandmother dissolved into tears. “Out in the field, we see the reactions of patients and staff, but rarely the rest of the family,” he says. “I think the biggest thing for us all to remember is that for every patient who's glad to be vaccinated, there's an entire family who we put at ease."

Lee Woodruff is a caregiver, speaker and author. She and her husband, Bob, cofounded the Bob Woodruff Foundation, which assists injured service members and their families. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.