How to Cope With Caregiver Boredom

The irony here is that no caregiver wants caregiving to be too exciting, because “exciting” events — accidents, falls and medical emergencies — are harrowing. But a little spice of life or a bit of fun would relieve the boredom and help us remain engaged so that we could put forth our best effort. How do we manage this? Here are some ideas.

Break it up. We develop routines to help keep us organized, but our days can then easily become “routinized” — unchanging, uneventful and, yes, plain boring. Breaking up a too-rigid schedule adds variety and has other advantages. Like business executives who use lean process management, we can regularly reflect on what we do and how we do it in order to introduce potential improvements. If our loved one balks about getting out of bed every morning at 8 o'clock, then we can push breakfast back to 9 or 10. If going to the supermarket becomes an exhausting half-day excursion, then consider having your groceries delivered.

Shake it up. All of us need things out of the humdrum to look forward to, but not all caregivers have the time or luxury for weekend jaunts or even dinners out. If that’s the case, then we should devise our own special events — such as holiday-themed meals, action-movie nights at home, birthday parties, tea parties, even silly costume parties. That takes creativity, a concerted effort and perhaps a spirit of playfulness — exactly the opposite of going through the motions and feeling bored.

Change your mind. The best way of countering boredom may not lie in changing our caregiving routines, but in transforming our reactions to them. We can use our imagination to look at our environment in new ways. For instance, rather than being the bored son who chafes at sitting in the waiting room, I could have made believe I was an anthropologist closely observing American family members caring for one another. Or perhaps a health policy expert doing a site visit at a primary care office. In either case, I would have paid more — not less — attention to my surroundings and possibly would have discovered other items of interest.

Along the same lines, using mindfulness practices can also shift our reactions to ones of greater engagement. An easy-to-learn practice is called the “five senses exercise,” in which we deliberately focus, one at a time, on what we hear, see, feel/touch, taste and smell in a given instance. Doing this brings us more fully into the moment wherever we are. We notice the whir of life around us. We are better connected to our own bodies and sensations. We perceive and cherish our loved ones to a greater degree. Suddenly, we are no longer bored.