En español | Maybe your sex life isn't everything you'd like it to be. Or, if you're lucky, maybe it's just fine. But who wouldn't jump at the chance to make it better — especially if it doesn't take much effort or energy at all? Here are some quick ways to make sex more enjoyable for the over-50 set.
See also: Brand new sex with the same old spouse.
Take a pain reliever. At this stage of life, aches and pains mount up and can interfere with the undivided attention lovemaking deserves. If you have creaky joints or chronic injuries that distract you during sex, an hour before you climb into bed, take a standard dose of aspirin, ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin) or acetaminophen (Tylenol), assuming, of course, that you can safely. Even minor aches can dash erotic focus. A pain reliever can quickly produce noticeable improvement in sex.
Experiment with pillows. Speaking of aches and pains, sometimes lovemaking causes the discomfort. This may happen when older lovers hold one position for a long time or when you engage in activities and positions that can strain the neck, back, shoulders and arms. Extra pillows — or even foam wedges — can make a tremendous difference.
Use a lubricant After age 50, most women experience some degree of vaginal dryness. Sexual lubricants don't relieve all the discomfort, but they often make a major difference quickly. Lubricants also help men. Older men often complain of difficulty becoming aroused and a loss of penile sensitivity. Lubricants immediately increase sensitivity and arousal. Even if you no longer have intercourse, lubricants quickly enhance genital play. Lubricants are available over the counter at pharmacies. They're usually displayed near the contraceptives.
Try one-word coaching. The most powerful erotic word is "yes." Even those who find it difficult to discuss sex can usually say it. The next time you make love, when your partner does something you enjoy, say, "yes" or "ahhh." Meanwhile, when your partner's moves are less than thrilling, remain silent. It rarely takes long for lovers to provide more of what elicits a "yes" and less of what's greeted by silence. You quickly get more of what you enjoy and never have to complain.