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Your Great Sex Weekend

10 easy steps to make it happen

There is no doubt about it, vacation is a good time to catch up on sex. During the workweek, we are often so busy, and so grumpy, that if sex happens, it is usually not state of the art — and notice that "if."

Unless you are a new couple, weeks can go by (maybe months) without any intimate time together. So given the fact that by the time you get a weekend or more away with one another, sex may be only a fond memory, it is really important that you go somewhere that makes sex, love, and romance more likely to happen than not. The right environment really does make a difference, even if you're dying to get into a sweet embrace. Ever find yourself in a hotel or resort that is a mood killer? I promise not to let that happen to you!

To start, here are 10 foolproof tips:

1. Plan ahead of time so that expectations and reality have something in common. If you want a cute bed-and-breakfast, that is fine. But find out whether or not you have your own bathroom or if you are right next to another couple (too inhibiting). Look up the reviews to see if people liked the way it looked once they got there. Pictures can be deceiving.

2. To avoid rush hour, leave on Friday afternoon if you can, instead of Friday night. If you are hassled and frustrated while getting out of town, those feelings can spill over on the weekend. Who needs to start down in a hole trying to climb out?

3. Pick a place you both will love. If he hates chintz, do not make him stay in a room that looks like an English garden. If she resents golf, do not go to a place that is organized around your sport. You are supposed to be each other's obsession on this getaway.

4. Bring a bottle of champagne or port or something celebratory, to put the two of you in a great mood the next morning. Or tell each other to bring some sexier-than-usual lingerie to set the mood. Hey, do both!

5. Make a promise about cell phones, BlackBerrys, and the like. If you cannot bear to be away from them, at least make a deal only to use them one hour or so a day, and at a mutually selected time. Show that you can concentrate on each other.

Next: Sexy scents and foods. »

6. Never underestimate the power of your nose. Bring perfumes, lotions, bath oils, and massage oils to anoint yourself and your partner. Use scented shampoo. One night or morning, wash each other's hair, or apply the lotion or perfume on each other's body. It is a sexy process, and the aroma will be at least mildly arousing all day.

7. Eat your big meal in the afternoon, and have a light meal in the evening. A really big dinner makes sex less likely. Remember that this is a sexy getaway — not just a getaway!

8. Check out what kinds of beds and sheets your getaway place has. You would be amazed at what a difference it makes to have a really luxurious bed. Westin, Sheraton, the Four Seasons, and some of the other hotel chains brag about their beds and sheets. They can make you feel sexy; and after that, you can get a good night's sleep. That's a perfect combination.

9. Bring a sexy or romantic book or movie. Help create the mood from the beginning.

10. Remember that this is just one weekend. Everything doesn't have to be perfect, and not every day has to have a tryst. If you end up hugging, kissing, touching, and just giving each other pleasure, you are way ahead. Don't burden each other with expectations that would make 25-year-olds nervous.