Sexual Awakenings

Change your mind Not feeling aroused? Say yes to sex even when you’re not in the mood. Often the excitement and pleasure will come once the erotic games begin.

Assemble a good team If you suspect your libido problems may be medical in nature, you may need to shop around for just the right doctor to help you. Don’t settle for a physician who seems uncomfortable with the topic or tries to minimize its importance.

A knowledgeable doctor should ask lots of questions and listen closely: “This isn’t a quick-fix problem,” says Sharon D. Malone, M.D. “It requires patience. If a doctor rushes out of the room after you bring up the issue, find someone else.”

Breach your security zone Try something novel—sensual activities that make you just a little nervous with anticipation. You can get aroused simply by taking the challenge.

Confront the fears Put those worrisome couples issues on the table, and, if necessary, begin meeting with a therapist. Anger, hurt, and resentment can all get in the way of intimacy.

Set a schedule Sex at least once every two weeks will keep the blood flowing in all the right places—which can make sex more appealing in itself. But don’t wait for things to just happen. Make a date.

Get a workout Regular exercise not only makes you feel better about your body; it can boost sexual satisfaction, too. So hit the treadmill, take a yoga class, lift a few weights. It all adds up.