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The Naked Truth

How to Keep the Romance Alive

Expert advice on rekindling the passion in your long-term relationship

Question from Anon2010: If you find your spouse unattractive after several years, should you say something?

PS: Somewhere out there, a grown man is crying ... I think if there has been a loss of attraction that is primarily due to something that could be fixed (better hygiene, weight loss, etc.), then figuring out a nice way to suggest some changes would be a good idea. For example, let's take a bath together before we make love? Or why don't you and I join a gym and get healthier? I do think it's important to address the issue and do something about [it], instead of acting in a distant of rejecting manner.

Question from D: I just sent a comment without my name — basically, my husband and I are separated often due to business commitments, and I find myself being very needy. Granted, in this economy, we are under a lot of stress. So I am one of those women [who] lack self-confidence in love. What can I do to overcome this problem? I find myself crying because I miss him, etc. Plus, we are recently married (seven months) after a romance 30 years ago. I just don't seem to have a handle on my feelings.

PS: D, If you find yourself crying all the time, please get some help. Go see a counselor. This forum can't address your issue adequately, and you need to be able to fully explain the situation to a professional counselor. This would be very useful for you to do.

Question from Guest: I'm 72. Am I too old for the "little black dress"?

PS: Of course you're not too old for the little black dress. Sexiness is not just a state of mind; it also helps to wear something that makes you feel womanly, attractive. And if you like that little black dress, of course you should wear it. My guess is that you look good in it. I think it’s wonderful to dress up and feel like you’re especially elegant.

Question from Gail: My husband of 40 years has absolutely no interest in intimacy or sex. This is NOT new to me but I long for even some small affection. He developed prostate cancer and tells me no more sex (or any hugs, either). Any hope for change here? We live, travel and work full time in a motor home. Not a bad life, but frustrating at times.

PS: Gail, He sounds depressed and angry. Otherwise, he'd at least be giving you hugs. You both need to seek couples counseling, but if he won't go, you still need to go and get some help. It's very hard to be rejected by a partner no matter what the reason is. I hope with some counseling he can realize that he needs this affection as much as you do, and in many ways, despite post-prostate problems, you still can be a sensual, sexual and loving couple.

Well, that's it. Thank you for joining me today. Looking forward to our next chat. In the meantime, you can ask me questions at Have a great day!

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